So have we all heard P. Diddy/Puff Daddy/Puffy/Sean John/Sean Combs’ new(ish) song? I don’t even want to say “new” because this is Sacramento and I know we get music months after it is actually released, so how about we agree on calling it The One Currently Being Completely Overplayed? Also, sheesh -- why doesn’t he just do everyone a favor and pick a symbol he wants to represent him like Prince did, and then fade away into obscurity. Unless of course he wants to invite me to his Annual White Party so I can celeb-gawk -- then of course, I will RSVP in the affirmative to whatever name he pleases. I have nothing against that particular song, but I do find it weird that he is still giving shout outs to Biggie and saying “I thought I told you that we don’t stop.” Mostly because according to my calculations that line has been used in just about every one of his songs since 1997. Why don't you try some new material, buddy? Bust out some bible verses like you did for Danity Kane or something. Look deep inside, there's gotta be something underneath all that Gucci.
But then I got to thinking about other hip hop/pop songs, specifically the new (to me) J.Lo song that features Pit Bull (who I have a totally unexplainable crush on -- why? I HAVE NO IDEA) and he’s hollering “Mr. Worldwide” over and over just like he does in oh, every one of his other songs, and I’m like – WHAT’S THE DEAL with the rappers these days? (That was my best Jerry Seinfeld impersonation right there.) Is this the cool thing to do now, have a catch phrase? And then I died because even though I said it in my head I was basically making a “Is this what the kids do these days…” type of statement and we all know that means I am one step away from yelling at someone to get off my lawn.
So speaking of random songs, Keri Hilson’s song Pretty Girl Rock may have the dumbest first verses in all of hip hop. But don’t worry if you don’t hear it all the first time, she repeats herself. And then goes on to say she is "sweeter than a swisher," and I find this sort of shocking. I mean, I get that it rhymes and that’s sort of the point, but really? A cigar, Keri? I mean, I get that “sweeter than Volcanic Nectar Blue Agave” doesn’t have the same ring to it, but I have to think there is a better option out there for you than a 7-11 cigar, right?
Speaking of rap lyrics have you read Understand Rap. Because it might be one of the most entertaining websites I’ve read since Stuff White People Like.
So while I’m ranting about music and getting old, can we talk about Rihanna’s new song S&M? Please, have a listen if you haven’t already. Catchy beat, Rihanna has a pretty good voice, what's the problem, right? Can we talk specifically about the lyric “There’s sex in the air, I don’t care I like the smell of it.” Here, let me give you a second to wipe that vomit off of your keyboard, I don't mind.
WHAT. THE. HELL?
I realize Rihanna is having some sort of new found post-Chris Brown sexual renaissance, but seriously? I mean do you think her dad plays that song for his friends? Is this cd in her mom's car? VOMIT.
Lastly, I think this is kind of a sad sentiment but I also think it needs to be said: Britney is getting old, you all. The video of her performance on the GMA’s has been getting around and there’s lots of talk about how slow she dances and how old and washed up she’s getting and man, I have to kind of agree. I can remember seeing her first TV performance on The Rosie O’Donnell Show (dude *flashback*) when she was all spunky and latex clad and everyone was like "Who's the new Pop Tart?" and now, I kind of feel like Gwyneth Paltrow is going to play her in a movie about her washed up career. It’s just kind of a sad situation.
What say you, friends? Am I getting old or is the state of music kind of sad these days?