November 17, 2008

Fighting the Good Fight

(This story is the continuation of this post).

When I last left this story, it was 2005 and I was a high strung gal with a crush on a boy. Funny, now that I write that I guess things haven't changed much in those last few years. I was ready for a relationship and I finally put my foot down -- no more pussyfooting around here, buddy! I wanted commitment or I wanted nothing to do with this situation -- and I was willing to fight for it. But for Garrett, it was not so black and white.

Remember how I told you I wasn't the friendliest girl ever to him right when he started working for Peet's? Yeah. Well let me interject a little piece of advice here people, be ye not so stupid. Never be a jerk to someone who you think is hot, solely based on the fact that they are hot. I promise this will complicate that whole trust thing when you actually decide on trying to make a relationship out of it. It doesn't make you the most credible person on the planet, which unsurprisingly can be a turnoff, no?

So things were rough for a minute because Garrett wasn't ready to dive right in to this relationship head first (even though I was like "trust'll be great." Shit! There's that trust thing again. Damn). I'm not the girl who does real well at taking 'no' for an answer, so I decided that I was just going to take a break.

Piece of advice number two -- "taking a break" from a relationship that doesn't exist yet is not the best plan ever. And let me tell you I was MISERABLE. Talk about a dark period in my life, I remember doing very little except wondering what Garrett was doing, hoping he would come into Peet's so that I could just see his face (and of course promptly ignore him because I am very mature), and drinking heavily.

No Bueno.

Finally one day my good friend Jeremy took me out for a beer and just said "What the hell is up with you?" Oh that's right, I forgot to mention that this whole horrible period of time in my life was basically a great big secret from any of our shared friends and co-workers (Jeremy included) so I think everyone probably just thought I had turned into a bitch overnight and couldn't quite figure out why. And I was just about ready to explode with my tales of woe, but I just kept silent because I knew it would be totally out of left field. But over another shared pitcher of Newcastle (Dear Newcastle, don't my romantic woes at least earn me a free 12-pack? Great, thanks!) I pretty much confessed the whole story. To which he responded:

"So that's why Garrett looks like shit is drinking heavily. Ah, it all makes sense."

Now, ladies, I know that does not qualify as a profession of love with fireworks and romance as I had envisioned. Trust me, if I was a screenwriter that would not be the climax of my chick flick -- but at that moment in time it was exactly what I needed to hear to get my thoughts together, get my head out of my ass, and realize that this relationship was worth fighting for.

He was miserable!

I was miserable!

And that had to count for something, right?

(Again, be ye not so stupid. I think that is what I should subtitle this post.)

So the next night after weeks of no contact, Garrett called and wanted to meet me for a drink to discuss our situation. And seriously, the only things about that night I remember are that it began with a strong glass of gin with a side of tearful confession and it ended with the words "Let's just evolve." I felt like the dark, miserable cloud that I was living under had suddenly dissipated and a whole new era was being ushered in. And that was enough.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that bullshit, I know. But I can honestly tell you going living my life without Garrett was painful and if I know one thing for sure, it's that I never want to feel that kind of misery again. We did, in fact, evolve and it was kind of a process. And even though I don't think the beginning of our romance counts as the thing of fairy tales I'm almost certain that it will end like one.

The thing about this evolution that I am most proud of is that three years ago today, we both looked at one another and consciously made that commitment to never go through life without each other again. It was the best decision I have made to date. I can't imagine my life without this man, and from past experience I can tell you that I don't even want to try it.

He is the one I want to be with forever, the one this still gives me butterflies, the one who makes me feel safe at night, and the one who keeps me in stiches when we are lying in bed in the morning still groggy and not quite ready to get out of bed. He is the perfect one for me. And that, fairy tale or not, is the kind of love that is worth fighting for.

Happy Anniversary, Garrett! I hope we have a lifetime of silly kisses together!


November 11, 2008

This list makes me feel so much better about being 30!

*(I took the liberty of highlighting my acheivements...haha!)

By 30, you should have:

1. One old boyfriend you can imagine going back to and one who reminds you of how far you’ve come.

2. A decent piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in your family.

3. Something perfect to wear if the employer or man of your dreams wants to see you in an hour.

4. A purse, a suitcase and an umbrella you’re not ashamed to be seen carrying.
5. A youth you’re content to move beyond.

6. A past juicy enough that you’re looking forward to retelling it in your old age.

7. The realization that you are actually going to have an old age—and some money set aside to help fund it.

8. An e-mail address, a voice mailbox and a bank account—all of which nobody has access to but you.

9. A résumé that is not even the slightest bit padded.

10. One friend who always makes you laugh and one who lets you cry.

11. A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill and a black lace bra.
*(Hey, I just moved, alright!)

12. Something ridiculously expensive that you bought for yourself, just because you deserve it.

13. The belief that you deserve it. *(Oh, I believe, baby!)

14. A skin-care regimen, an exercise routine and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that don’t get better after 30. *(eek! This is what I'm scared of)

15. A solid start on a satisfying career, a satisfying relationship and all those other facets of life that do get better.

By 30, you should know:

1. How to fall in love without losing yourself.

2. How you feel about having kids. *(I'm getting there, I think.)

3. How to quit a job, break up with a man and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.

4. When to try harder and when to walk away.

5. How to kiss in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn’t like to happen next.

6. The names of: the secretary of state, your great-grandmother and the best tailor in town. *(Hey, I'm being honest. Sorry, Secreteary of State!)

7. How to live alone, even if you don’t like to. *(I LOVE IT!)

8. How to take control of your own birthday. *(I think I just did this year!)

9. That you can’t change the length of your calves, the width of your hips or the nature of your parents.

10. That your childhood may not have been perfect, but it’s over.

11. What you would and wouldn’t do for money or love.

12. That nobody gets away with smoking, drinking, doing drugs or not flossing for very long.

13. Who you can trust, who you can’t and why you shouldn’t take it personally.

14. Not to apologize for something that isn’t your fault.

15. Why they say life begins at 30.

November 05, 2008

Um...Will Christopher Cross Be There???

image courtesy of

I'm going sailing on Friday in San Francisco and I sort of can't believe it. I know it sounds very romantic and stuff but actually it is a "Team Building" exercise for my department at work.

In some ways this means my job totally rocks! Team Building? With the Golden Gate as your backdrop? KILLER!!!!

But I'd like to remind you that it's November. BRRRR! And as an added complication I am prone to getting seasick. (Hello, Bonine? You work, right?) So right now the whole thing is kind of a wild card, but I'm fairly certain it beats a day in the office. If I'm not barfing my guts out in front of my boss (Go Team!) I'll be sure to take some pictures and post them when I get back.

Hopefully I won't get too sick, because Friday Night Garrett and I are going to see The Faint and I CAN'T FREAKING WAIT!!! They are actually playing at Sac State's Student Union which totally blows my mind! How I wish there were cool shows like this when I was going there. The tickets were part of my birthday present from Garrett a few weeks ago (along with my FAB new digital camera which I will be toting on the sailboat and the new Jenny Lewis album -- which I totally recommend) and it's exceptionally convenient seeing as it is literally about 2 blocks from my house now. If I'm not too cold from a blustery day on the open water maybe we will throw on our scarves and walk over.

As far as I'm concerned the end of the week is looking pretty good -- and the weekend following -- icing on the cake!


So as the weather is turning colder I find it harder and harder to get out of bed in the morning and get ready for work-- especially now that I have hardwood floors in my new place.

(I'm totally aware that these are some First World problems and I should be grateful -- and I am, trust me -- but sometimes I just need a little extra motivation.)

I have been rocking out to the following songs non-stop the last few mornings because they are super fun and get the booty shakin' no matter what the temperature. (Also, new slippers, which helps.) But just in case you need a little AM inspiration as well I wanted to pass these two nuggets along:

Far Away by Cut Copy

Vanished by Crystal Castles

It's cool, I see you dancing.


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