So I made some goals in July -- actually more like 900 hundred goals, or at least it kind of felt that way.
Then I made some goals in August -- which pretty much was the reactionary "effing relax why dontcha? Jeeeez"
And this, friends, it the pace of my life always. Conceive, Commit, Complete...and then Collapse for a bit. Lather, Rinse, Repeat. I have so much I want to dream and do and be, and I just have no idea how to be balanced about it, but it is starting to become a struggle.
As you know I have been writing about my quest to become healthier before Garrett and I have a baby over at Bodies in Motivation. There are many parts of this whole quest, but the biggest one for me initially was figuring out where I am at currently, healthwise. I started seeing a Naturopath and he started with a battery of bloodwork, hormone tests, and neurotransmitter tests. (What the hell is a neurotransmitter? They are the chemicals that are involved in synaptic brain function -- the common ones you have probably heard of are Glutamate, Acetylcholine, Dopamine, and Seratonin.)
Scientific gobbledygook aside, the results were pretty interesting, definitely shocking and can be drilled down to one thing: I'm kind of a stress mess. I'm delving into the specifics over at Bodies this week, so if you are interested in that, check that out, but the biggest worry the doctor had for me was about my lifestyle -- and we aren't talking diet, weight, exercise or any of that normal stuff you think about when you think of a doctor lecturing you.
"You need to find more balance."
Apparently a few systems in my body have crashed from stress (actually his exact words were "People with lab work like this generally have problems getting out of bed") which I thought was funny because I said to him "I certainly don't feel stressed." And he agreed that I definitely don't come across as someone who is down in the dumps or freaking out. But upon further examination of my activities, my habits, my goals and my timelines he shook his head and said"
"It's nice to want to be a better person and make the world a better place, but what good is it really doing if you are killing yourself at the same time?"
And really, I can't argue with that. Pretty simply, no good can come from that. So I have spent the last week or two trying to figure out what balance looks like for me and seriously, THIS IS HARD, YO. I can always think of something to get done, something I need to squeeze in, something I should be doing, or a goal I could be working toward. And frankly, I really like that part of myself -- it's what gives me drive, motivation, and completing those things gives me a huge sense of self worth and self esteem. It's hard to put the brakes on that.
But there is definitely work to be done. I mean, I think deep down I know that it is not normal to get up at 5am to read. If I am too tired to read in the afternoon or at night, maybe I need to take a listen to what my body is trying to tell me instead of setting my alarm for an hour earlier to circumvent the issue, you know?
With all of that said, September's Goals are going to be a little anti-climatic:
*Sleep at least 8 hours per night
*Prioritize leisure activities like reading, cooking, and writing
*Continue exercising 3 days per week and quit feeling guilty that you aren't doing it 5-6x
* Notice when I am pushing myself and ask "Does this have to be done right now?"
Some people might say that looks like the easiest goal list known to man -- a lazy man's manifesto even. To this overactive, overachieving, overcommiting crazy person, this may just be my greatest challenge yet.
So since you are here, let me ask ya: How do you find balance in your life? I would love any advice you have to give -- from mini, to life changing!