"My life should be unique; it should be an alms, a battle, a conquest, a medicine" - R.W. Emerson, Self Reliance
***Forgive the hippie dippie rant that I'm about to go on -- but I started writing and this is what came out. I guess sometimes you gotta unleash your inner hippie :)
I've gone and done something stupid. I mean like bonehead, dunce cap stupid and I hate the way it feels. It's nothing life altering, and it's not hurting anyone -- but I have lost something that is crucial to my job -- and I'm currently unsure of the consequences. Oddly enough, I found that I'm approaching this situation much like I would have as a child. When I was young, whenever I misbeahaved I confessed, prefering the swiftness of disappointment and punishment over the guilt and agony of waiting to be discovered. As a teen, however, I was the exact opposite -- I'd make poor decisions and try to sleep them off, pretending they didn't exist or have long lasting consequences. Last night, after realizing my mistep earlier in the day, I had a hard time sleeping. One night was enough. This morning I went into work and had a conversation with my manager about it. He wants to "give it a day to see if it turns up" but I assure you it's not the type of item to just turn up. It's gone, and I'm left to be feel disappointed at my carelessness. As I was sitting here and reflecting about it this morning though, the situation also made me feel pretty good.
I'm proud that I'm not really afraid of the consequences. At almost 30, I've finally come to realize that I can look at just about any crappy situation and deal with it-- even if I'm the cause of it. I know how to admit my mistakes, and take responsibilty gracefully, even when I'm at a loss for excuses. For the most part I have left those "avoider" tendencies of my adolesence behind, and shedding this habit has become empowering. For me, the evolution came over a period of time. Anyone who has ever experienced a major loss (for me it was my father dying at the age of 19) can tell you what a gripping black hole that feeling is. I don't care if it's a relative dying, or a relationship ending, the feeling of loss in any context is always a shocking suffocation. It's the Universe knocking the wind out of you, showing you who's boss, and reminding you that even when things feel stable they never really are. I definitely don't wish that on anyone.
But honestly the gift of all of that -- for me and for anyone else who has experienced it -- is that I've learned how to navigate that black hole, and ultimately find a way out of that. I'm not saying I could draw you a map, nor am I dying to have that experience again, but now that I've been through it, I know that there is a capability inside me that lends itself to a fearlessness that I didn't have at the age of 18 or 20. It's one of those things that comforts me when I'm freaked out about situations in my life, or when I feel directionless.
So I lost something. Awesome! Was it stupidity on my part? Absolutely! But in the end, the courage that I've found to deal with my losses or my shortcomings, and the relief that it gives on a day to day basis is something I can at least hold on to in order to steady my voice when I have to fess up....
January 23, 2008
January 22, 2008
Monday Morning Blues on a Tuesday
So yeah, where did the time go?
I'm back at work after a 3 day weekend, and despite ridiculous amounts of sleep, I don't feel all that refreshed, and I certainly don't feel like I accomplished much. Want the super boring recap of my weekend where I tell you all sorts of fabulous things like don't paint your nails with quick dry nail polish and think you can do the dishes? Well here ya go...
Friday I took a half day and headed out for a Ladies Night with my mom and grandma in Lincoln. I left early to miss the ever present Weekend Tahoe Traffic which just becomes a fixture on 80 every Friday afternoon and Sunday evening throughout the Winter -- and I try to avoid like the plague. Partly because it sucks, and partly because it reminds me that I am not going to Tahoe, and that just bums me out. She cooked my favorite chicken enchiladas and my aunt came over and we all played cards for a while but then I crapped out early on the couch while the Ladies continued to play cards. I'm a real party starter, eh?
Saturday we got up early and I knit for a bit and we watched some movies. I'm trying to help you out by telling you not to watch We Are Marshall if you are PMSing. Oh my god it was just an emotional sobfest and I think my face was pink and puffy until Sunday. I headed to Garrett's in the afternoon because both of his Uncles came up for the day from the Bay Area to say goodbye to his parents. I'm not sure if I have mentioned that they have been staying with Garrett since Christmas and were heading back to New Mexico on Sunday morning. Yup, that's right, my boyfriend's parents have been living with him for the last 3 weeks -- it has done wonders for my social life. All joking aside though, it was nice to see them and catch up-- his family is really such a good time. They are all hysterical and when everyone was in the same room, I don't think I stopped laughing for like an hour. Garrett's mom made a feast of Cornish Game Hens, which were fabulous, and then we headed over to our friend Jeremy's for his 30th birthday 70's celebration Saturday night.
This is where the weekend went awry...I started feeling totally sick at Jeremy's and we ended up having to leave the party early. I ended up in a food poisoning induced fetal position for the rest of the night, which I would NOT recommend to others! It was a blessing that Garrett went home to his own house since it was his parents' last night in town because I was NO FUN all night. When I wasn't feeling physically horrible, I was feeling bummed and guilty that Garrett's mom made such a nice meal and I had to go and get sick from it! Luckily it was short lived and by Sunday morning I was feeling a bit better.
Sunday was the Lord's day, let me tell you. Sunday was the first time Garrett and I have been able to hang out at his house without parental supervision since Christmas...can I tell you how overdue that was? Like I said earlier, I love his parents and all, but we are creatures of habit, and our relationship has been out of our routine since December, so it was nice to just chill out and relax and not feel guilty that his parents were sitting at home and not being entertained, or worrying that he should be "getting home". Aside from some random trips to Target and Costco, we didn't do anything we didn't feel like doing for the next two days straight. I even took 2 naps on Sunday -- TWO NAPS -- and I think during that time Garrett might have locked himself in the back room with his Xbox, but I can't be sure. I mean seriously, the relaxation was in full force.
But as it usually does, the work day came early today and it was time to go back to real life. I feel like I didn't do enough or finish enough and I feel like I'm looking down at the long week ahead of me, and really I just want to go back. Boring as it was, my dear weekend, I miss you already!
I'm back at work after a 3 day weekend, and despite ridiculous amounts of sleep, I don't feel all that refreshed, and I certainly don't feel like I accomplished much. Want the super boring recap of my weekend where I tell you all sorts of fabulous things like don't paint your nails with quick dry nail polish and think you can do the dishes? Well here ya go...
Friday I took a half day and headed out for a Ladies Night with my mom and grandma in Lincoln. I left early to miss the ever present Weekend Tahoe Traffic which just becomes a fixture on 80 every Friday afternoon and Sunday evening throughout the Winter -- and I try to avoid like the plague. Partly because it sucks, and partly because it reminds me that I am not going to Tahoe, and that just bums me out. She cooked my favorite chicken enchiladas and my aunt came over and we all played cards for a while but then I crapped out early on the couch while the Ladies continued to play cards. I'm a real party starter, eh?
Saturday we got up early and I knit for a bit and we watched some movies. I'm trying to help you out by telling you not to watch We Are Marshall if you are PMSing. Oh my god it was just an emotional sobfest and I think my face was pink and puffy until Sunday. I headed to Garrett's in the afternoon because both of his Uncles came up for the day from the Bay Area to say goodbye to his parents. I'm not sure if I have mentioned that they have been staying with Garrett since Christmas and were heading back to New Mexico on Sunday morning. Yup, that's right, my boyfriend's parents have been living with him for the last 3 weeks -- it has done wonders for my social life. All joking aside though, it was nice to see them and catch up-- his family is really such a good time. They are all hysterical and when everyone was in the same room, I don't think I stopped laughing for like an hour. Garrett's mom made a feast of Cornish Game Hens, which were fabulous, and then we headed over to our friend Jeremy's for his 30th birthday 70's celebration Saturday night.
This is where the weekend went awry...I started feeling totally sick at Jeremy's and we ended up having to leave the party early. I ended up in a food poisoning induced fetal position for the rest of the night, which I would NOT recommend to others! It was a blessing that Garrett went home to his own house since it was his parents' last night in town because I was NO FUN all night. When I wasn't feeling physically horrible, I was feeling bummed and guilty that Garrett's mom made such a nice meal and I had to go and get sick from it! Luckily it was short lived and by Sunday morning I was feeling a bit better.
Sunday was the Lord's day, let me tell you. Sunday was the first time Garrett and I have been able to hang out at his house without parental supervision since Christmas...can I tell you how overdue that was? Like I said earlier, I love his parents and all, but we are creatures of habit, and our relationship has been out of our routine since December, so it was nice to just chill out and relax and not feel guilty that his parents were sitting at home and not being entertained, or worrying that he should be "getting home". Aside from some random trips to Target and Costco, we didn't do anything we didn't feel like doing for the next two days straight. I even took 2 naps on Sunday -- TWO NAPS -- and I think during that time Garrett might have locked himself in the back room with his Xbox, but I can't be sure. I mean seriously, the relaxation was in full force.
But as it usually does, the work day came early today and it was time to go back to real life. I feel like I didn't do enough or finish enough and I feel like I'm looking down at the long week ahead of me, and really I just want to go back. Boring as it was, my dear weekend, I miss you already!
January 17, 2008
Things you don't want to see when grabbing something from the communal printer at work....
"The Effect of Arsenic on the Human Body"
Note to self: No more eating at company potlucks.
Note to self: No more eating at company potlucks.
January 14, 2008
I've never been quite so anxiety ridden about the fact that Sacramento is called the "City of Trees"
Enough of the bad weather already!
January 12, 2008
The Book List: 2008
My goal is to read 30 by the end of the year. This will be a working document and I have added a link in my sidebar. Here's to page turning! (** denotes "In Progress")
1. The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini - I put off reading this book for so long because I really thought it was going to be overrated. I was SO wrong! Heart wrenching story that is staying with me. I'm excited (and nervous) to see if the movie is just like the book.
2. Kitchen Confidential by Anthony Bourdain - This is HYSTERICAL! I loved everything about it. A must read if you enjoy all things food.
3. The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls - This is kind of stalling for me right now in the middle. I'm tempted to put it down, but I kind of want to know how it all works out.
*Ok, I'll have you know I finished it. What a heart wrenching story. Definitely not a beach read, but worth it to finish.
4. The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell - New Book Club selection. So I didn't love this book...and actually my whole book club hated it so much we never even finished it. Interesting...I guess I would NOT recommend this book to others.
5. **Make Him Look Good by Alisa Valdes-Rodriguez - My cousin Jenny gave this to me last summer (sorry Jen!)and it looks like a dishy read. I need a bit of a break after all the heavy, depressing boooks I've been reading. So far, so good.
*Yeah, haven't finished this yet...I'm an ass.
6. The Friday Night Knitting Club by Kate Jacobs- Wow, so that took me like 6 months to read, didn't it? Looking at my list so far I'm kind of embarrassed by how few books I've finished this year. The ratio of books to magazines is staggering. This book should have been a quick read, but again, I kind of got bored in the middle. By the time I finished it, I was like "Finally! I'm glad that's over." But in all seriousness, had I just read it in a weekend like I should have, I would have enjoyed it.
7. ** The Divide by Nicholas Evans- My Aunt Martha always recommends delicious reads. When I was in Fremont a few weeks ago she passed this along to me. So far, so good.
8. Twilight by Stephenie Meyer - Yeah, so I read Young Adult Vampire Romances, what of it? I resisted reading this for a long time -- shocking, I know. But it was 25,000 recommendations and one too many trips to the book section in Target (again, shocking!) that finally convinced me to at least pick it up. All I can say is it was a total page turner, and everyone needs to revisit their teen angst once in a while. The fangs were just a nice accessory. Mindless reading, perfect for Summer -- I will totally be reading the sequels.
9. Such a Pretty Fat by Jen Lancaster -- See here...I think that was a pretty thorough explanation of my opinion of this book.
10. Bright Lights, Big Ass by Jen Lancaster - Though not quite as linear as Such a Pretty Fat, Lancaster's sardonic wit is in full effect in this collection of essays regarding city living. Her books make me laugh, and again, great reading for Summer!
1. The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini - I put off reading this book for so long because I really thought it was going to be overrated. I was SO wrong! Heart wrenching story that is staying with me. I'm excited (and nervous) to see if the movie is just like the book.
2. Kitchen Confidential by Anthony Bourdain - This is HYSTERICAL! I loved everything about it. A must read if you enjoy all things food.
3. The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls - This is kind of stalling for me right now in the middle. I'm tempted to put it down, but I kind of want to know how it all works out.
*Ok, I'll have you know I finished it. What a heart wrenching story. Definitely not a beach read, but worth it to finish.
4. The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell - New Book Club selection. So I didn't love this book...and actually my whole book club hated it so much we never even finished it. Interesting...I guess I would NOT recommend this book to others.
5. **Make Him Look Good by Alisa Valdes-Rodriguez - My cousin Jenny gave this to me last summer (sorry Jen!)and it looks like a dishy read. I need a bit of a break after all the heavy, depressing boooks I've been reading. So far, so good.
*Yeah, haven't finished this yet...I'm an ass.
6. The Friday Night Knitting Club by Kate Jacobs- Wow, so that took me like 6 months to read, didn't it? Looking at my list so far I'm kind of embarrassed by how few books I've finished this year. The ratio of books to magazines is staggering. This book should have been a quick read, but again, I kind of got bored in the middle. By the time I finished it, I was like "Finally! I'm glad that's over." But in all seriousness, had I just read it in a weekend like I should have, I would have enjoyed it.
7. ** The Divide by Nicholas Evans- My Aunt Martha always recommends delicious reads. When I was in Fremont a few weeks ago she passed this along to me. So far, so good.
8. Twilight by Stephenie Meyer - Yeah, so I read Young Adult Vampire Romances, what of it? I resisted reading this for a long time -- shocking, I know. But it was 25,000 recommendations and one too many trips to the book section in Target (again, shocking!) that finally convinced me to at least pick it up. All I can say is it was a total page turner, and everyone needs to revisit their teen angst once in a while. The fangs were just a nice accessory. Mindless reading, perfect for Summer -- I will totally be reading the sequels.
9. Such a Pretty Fat by Jen Lancaster -- See here...I think that was a pretty thorough explanation of my opinion of this book.
10. Bright Lights, Big Ass by Jen Lancaster - Though not quite as linear as Such a Pretty Fat, Lancaster's sardonic wit is in full effect in this collection of essays regarding city living. Her books make me laugh, and again, great reading for Summer!
The Movie List: 2008
It was so depressing that I couldn't remember any of the movies I saw in 2007. I'm resolving to keep better track this year. This will be a working document and I have put a link in my sidebar.
1. Atonement - (January) Beautiful adaptation of Ian McEwan's novel with phenomenal costumes, music, and heartache. I wasn't thrilled with the ending, it felt a little to "neat" for me, but I did find the story compelling.
2. Music and Lyrics - (January) This movie is why I don't have HBO. I caught it one of the like 500 times it was on while I was out at my mom's recently and even though it was pure garbage I found myself really enjoying it. Plus Hugh Grant's bumbling Brit is a character that I (sadly) never get sick of.
3. The Kite Runner - (January) While nowhere near as good as the book, I enjoyed this movie. It was our bookclub outing after finishing the book and I found myself annoyingly listing all the things they were leaving out in my head as the film played. Hmmm...this may have been why I didn't enjoy it as much.
4. Because I Said So - (January) Ugh! This movie is why I don't want HBO...it was terrible. I was so exhausted by Mandy Moore and Diane Keaton's constant yappying and totally unrealistic relationship that I fell asleep like 30 minutes before the ending. Cute outfits can't make up for the fact that getting sucked into this movie cost me two hours of my life I will never get back.
5. The Last Kiss - (January) There are many reasons I loved this movie even though I didn't think it was great. Honestly, first go watch the trailer here, I can wait. See, wasn't it good? Ok, so if you are like me and you may have a teensy little crush on Zach Braff, or if perhaps the soundtrack houses a majority of artists in your record collection too, please go rent it. Also as an added bonus when you see this scene you will have an immediate understanding the dynamic of my own relationship. Jacinda Barrett and Zack Braff are seriously a richer, glossier, better looking version of me and Garrett. They have us down to a tee -- well until he starts hanging out with stupid Rachel Bilson...but OMG she is so freakin pretty in this movie. Hate her.
6. We Are Marshall - (January) I'm just telling you, don't watch this movie if you are PMSing. Unless of course a pink puffy face for days is a good look on you.
7. Breach - (January) Spies, Government, FBI, Ryan Phillipe -- I mean there are worse things you can spend your time watching. I thought this was entertaining.
8. Live Free or Die Hard - (January) This is what happens when you send the boyfriend to the video store. Hmm...should we even call it the video store anymore, does anyone actually get videos there? DVD store just doesn't have that same ring to it. ANYWAY, long story short it was entertaining -- way better than I thought.
9. The Bourne Ultimatum - (January) See above. Also better than I thought, but by the end of this movie I had had just about enough of things blowing up, people being chased, gun shots, etc. One can only suspend disbelief for so long, right?
10. Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End - (February) I want you to know that I will never again spell the word Caribbean incorrectly after losing a game of Cranium over it. Anyway, that story (boring as it was) is probably more entertaining than this movie. My general reaction -- meh. It didn't really keep my interest. I loved the other two, but this one not-so-much. In its defense, I was very tired both times I tried to watch it and fell asleep. Sleeping through integral parts kinda does that to a movie.
11. Kissing Jessica Stein - (February) I love the quirkiness of this movie. I've seen it a couple of times and every time I like it a little bit more. Watching parts of it with the boyfriend really made me aware of how hyper-neurotic the main character is, but nonetheless its an interesting concept...and the Rilke quote is a good one. English nerd alert!
12. Made of Honor - (May) Yep, that's right I haven't seen a FREAKING movie since February! Isn't that depressing? I either can't stay awake, and I never get to the theater...so it was quite a treat to catch this, popcorn in hand, by myself at the Fashion Valley Mall in San Diego this week. McDreamy TOTALLY came through in the clutch!
13. Juno - (May) Yay for $1.99 Blockbuster coupons! Was excited to see this since it got so much hype, and for the most part it delivered. Parts of the dialogue bugged me and were a little reminiscent of that Dawson's Creek style teenage verbosity, but overall it was fun, quirky, and entertaining. Is it weird that it made me kinda hot for men in sweatbands?
14. No Country For Old Men - (May) Listen, in case you weren't aware, Javier Bardem is one scary dude. I covered my eyes in numerous parts because, frankly, I'm kind of a pussy -- but overall a very engaging flick! The end was a little abrupt, but the acting was stellar throughout. Is it just me or was there no music anywhere in that movie? Weird, now that I'm thinking about it.
15. Untraceable - (June) Listen, if you had just played hostess to 2 guests and a dog for a whole weekend, attended a rehearsal dinner and then went to a wedding with 300 guests knowing only know the bride and the groom and your boyfriend (who is in the wedding party) -- then curling up with this movie on a Sunday night might be so pleasurable you'd die of happiness. However, if you are just looking for a GREAT! MOVIE! to watch, you will probably find better. It was entertaining, but had I been less tired I probably would have thought it was 2 hours of imitating the movie Seven with Diane Lane wearing bad pants.
16. Sex and the City - (June) I really wasn't sure I was going to like this movie because I LOVED the series that much -- and ya know, it may not translate. It was so good, however, that when I left the theater I had that feeling you have after a long catchup conversation with a good friend you haven't seen in a while -- nostalgic, fulfilled, and looking forward to the next visit. I would totally see it again!
17. Michael Clayton - (June) Pretty good -- Actually it was probably really good, except that I was tired when I watched it and slept through like a half an hour right in the middle. The nap was just what I needed, but I was too lazy to rewind. Consequently, all the pieces didn't make total sense to me at the end, but I could see how, with a few more details, it probably would have. Definitely worthy of a rental.
18. Gone Baby Gone - (June)Wow -- this movie was super engrossing and even a little disturbing. You get through what you think is the entire movie, and then all of a sudden the twists and turns abound! I love a good movie where the ending kind of takes you by surprise. Good, but only if you are in the mood for something serious and kinda heavy.
January 06, 2008
I'd assume you were laughing with me -- but I'm not actually laughing
Can you believe it? We all survived!
Boy this weekend's sure storm caused quite the stir up here in these parts. With pounding rain and 70 mph winds you would have thought a hurricaine was about to hit Friday afternoon with the way everyone was acting. The thing is then you would have realized that you live in Sacramento and a hurricaine is like practically impossible. Then you would have gone on to realize that the ocean is like practically in a different time zone. Do you hear that muffled laughter? That is the East Coast laughing at you like a gaggle of junior high girls.
With dramatic flair worthy of an Oscar, my office closed down at 2pm on Friday afternoon due to "Extreme Weather Conditions." It felt like a glorified fire drill and even though it was like Grand Theft Auto getting home, I certainly didn't let a little rain get in the way of enjoying those extra few hours off. I headed straight the the store and bought all the fixins to have a serious soup party (dude, I bought 7 quarts of Chicken Stock -- who does that?) plus a handy dandy duraflame and I was pretty much set. I ended up making a bitchin Roasted Potato and Fennel Soup and some homemade parmesan croutons and spent the evening hanging with Garrett polishing off a bottle of Zinfandel. I'm not gonna lie, if this is what Extreme Weather is all about, I may just be destined to head East.
Saturday morning, on the other hand, was less than stellar. With a little bit of sun peaking through the clouds Garrett and I hedged our bets and headed out to Placerville to pick up our wine club selections at Lava Cap. Yeah, we're pretty much Last-Minute-Larrys and this weekend was the last weekend you could pick up your case of wine, otherwise you would be relegated to shipping and handling hell. (Basically what I'm telling you here is we're cheap, and we would rather risk life and limb in a storm than pay shipping and handling. Wanna be our friends?)
So we drive all the way out there and the whole winery was like deadsville. I mean seriously I think I saw a tumbleweed blow by as I was reading the 'Closed' sign, which by the way was hanging suspiciously close to another sign proclaiming "Only closed on Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's." (Um...Dear Lava Cap, Last Saturday was none of those holidays, so you can take your shipping and your handling and your signature of a 21 year old with an ID in the middle of a Wednesday afternoon and SUCK IT! Have a nice day. XOXO Holly) Bet hedging not really working out for us, we got a taste of Mother Nature's wrath on the drive home and we didn't even have wine to show for it. HUMPH!
What we did have, however, was excitement in the form of an audio book! AN AUDIO BOOK! I mean could you just die? Who, under 80, listens to audio books? Oh, hang on for a sec, let me put down my LARGE PRINT copy of North and South and just adjust my pocket protector real quick. But seriously, can I just tell you for a minute how audio books are right about to change my life? As someone who is trying to maximize their reading time this year, it is so damn efficient to be reading one book, while simultaneously listening to another book in the car while commuting, running errands, trying to avoid shipping and handling-- I mean whatever tickles your fancy, really -- IT IS SO EFFICIENT! I can't tell you how much I'm loving it. On Saturday our fancy happened to be tickled by Anthony Bourdain's Kitchen Confidential which I highly recommend even though he's kind of -- oh, how do I put it? -- a brash asshole. This may or may not be up your alley, but if you have any interest in food or cooking or drugs or sex or catering(?) it really is quite an entertaining read/(listen?). It actually made the sting of Mother Nature's wrath a little more bearable Saturday afternoon.
Oh, and while we're discussing what a nerd I am, can I tell you what I did on Saturday night? Well after a delicious dinner with Garrett's parents, the two of us headed over to Matt and Lisa's where we played Guitar Hero III -- for almost seven hours. SEVEN HOURS. I want you to let that sink in for a minute. Don't worry, I'll wait. Yeah, actually now that I think about it, let's just keep that between you and me, internet, k? In my defense, it was with some fun friends who are equally as cool (hint: nerdy) as us and the most delicious quesadillas on the planet, but can I tell you what the worst part about it was? When I woke up this morning -- I WAS SORE!
What has my life come to?
On second thought, don't answer that.
Boy this weekend's sure storm caused quite the stir up here in these parts. With pounding rain and 70 mph winds you would have thought a hurricaine was about to hit Friday afternoon with the way everyone was acting. The thing is then you would have realized that you live in Sacramento and a hurricaine is like practically impossible. Then you would have gone on to realize that the ocean is like practically in a different time zone. Do you hear that muffled laughter? That is the East Coast laughing at you like a gaggle of junior high girls.
With dramatic flair worthy of an Oscar, my office closed down at 2pm on Friday afternoon due to "Extreme Weather Conditions." It felt like a glorified fire drill and even though it was like Grand Theft Auto getting home, I certainly didn't let a little rain get in the way of enjoying those extra few hours off. I headed straight the the store and bought all the fixins to have a serious soup party (dude, I bought 7 quarts of Chicken Stock -- who does that?) plus a handy dandy duraflame and I was pretty much set. I ended up making a bitchin Roasted Potato and Fennel Soup and some homemade parmesan croutons and spent the evening hanging with Garrett polishing off a bottle of Zinfandel. I'm not gonna lie, if this is what Extreme Weather is all about, I may just be destined to head East.
Saturday morning, on the other hand, was less than stellar. With a little bit of sun peaking through the clouds Garrett and I hedged our bets and headed out to Placerville to pick up our wine club selections at Lava Cap. Yeah, we're pretty much Last-Minute-Larrys and this weekend was the last weekend you could pick up your case of wine, otherwise you would be relegated to shipping and handling hell. (Basically what I'm telling you here is we're cheap, and we would rather risk life and limb in a storm than pay shipping and handling. Wanna be our friends?)
So we drive all the way out there and the whole winery was like deadsville. I mean seriously I think I saw a tumbleweed blow by as I was reading the 'Closed' sign, which by the way was hanging suspiciously close to another sign proclaiming "Only closed on Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's." (Um...Dear Lava Cap, Last Saturday was none of those holidays, so you can take your shipping and your handling and your signature of a 21 year old with an ID in the middle of a Wednesday afternoon and SUCK IT! Have a nice day. XOXO Holly) Bet hedging not really working out for us, we got a taste of Mother Nature's wrath on the drive home and we didn't even have wine to show for it. HUMPH!
What we did have, however, was excitement in the form of an audio book! AN AUDIO BOOK! I mean could you just die? Who, under 80, listens to audio books? Oh, hang on for a sec, let me put down my LARGE PRINT copy of North and South and just adjust my pocket protector real quick. But seriously, can I just tell you for a minute how audio books are right about to change my life? As someone who is trying to maximize their reading time this year, it is so damn efficient to be reading one book, while simultaneously listening to another book in the car while commuting, running errands, trying to avoid shipping and handling-- I mean whatever tickles your fancy, really -- IT IS SO EFFICIENT! I can't tell you how much I'm loving it. On Saturday our fancy happened to be tickled by Anthony Bourdain's Kitchen Confidential which I highly recommend even though he's kind of -- oh, how do I put it? -- a brash asshole. This may or may not be up your alley, but if you have any interest in food or cooking or drugs or sex or catering(?) it really is quite an entertaining read/(listen?). It actually made the sting of Mother Nature's wrath a little more bearable Saturday afternoon.
Oh, and while we're discussing what a nerd I am, can I tell you what I did on Saturday night? Well after a delicious dinner with Garrett's parents, the two of us headed over to Matt and Lisa's where we played Guitar Hero III -- for almost seven hours. SEVEN HOURS. I want you to let that sink in for a minute. Don't worry, I'll wait. Yeah, actually now that I think about it, let's just keep that between you and me, internet, k? In my defense, it was with some fun friends who are equally as cool (hint: nerdy) as us and the most delicious quesadillas on the planet, but can I tell you what the worst part about it was? When I woke up this morning -- I WAS SORE!
What has my life come to?
On second thought, don't answer that.
January 03, 2008
2007: Year in Review
1. What did you do in 2007 that you’d never done before?
Ate oysters -- and they were DELICIOUS!
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I did go to the library more, but I didn't read 30 books. I made new resolutions and you can find them here.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Not last year. I think everyone I knew was too busy getting married.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
No, thank goodness.
5. What countries did you visit?
This one.
6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
The ability to keep up my success at work, while also maintaining my social life, seeing my friends and family, pursuing my hobbies AND getting enough sleep!!! I don't think that's too much to ask.
7. What dates from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
June 4th - when I started my new position at work.
Nov 17th - my two year anniversary with Garrett
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Getting my new position and getting accepted in the Emerging Leaders Program at my work.
9. What was your biggest failure?
Not being able to juggle my job success so that it could include time for me and time with friends.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I got in a car accident August 9th and my car was totaled. It wreaked havoc on my body a bit.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
A cute laptop bag. Wow...I'm starting to feel like my life revolves around work! Boo!
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My mom -- for always having an ear to listen, always giving great advice, and being my biggest cheerleader even though I am almost 30! Also Jeremy -- for dealing with divorce with more grace than anyone I know. He deserves a medal.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
I think it's a toss up between Spears and Lohan. And if we are being honest, the aforementioned EX.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Debt -- hey, it's getting paid off though!
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Taking Garrett to Humboldt, work successes, time that I spent with my family this summer.
16. What songs will always remind you of 2007?
Amsterdam by Peter, Bjorn, and John
Modern World by Wolf Parade
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:? a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?
Happier, Fatter, Richer -- meh. Two outta three ain't bad.
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Spent more time by the ocean. Got out of town a bit more. Garrett's house has been in the process of being remodeled for almost 6 months now, and even though it's pretty much done, it definitely took the wind out of our vacation sails for the latter part of the year.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Staying in.
20. How did you spend Christmas?
In Lincoln with my family and with Garrett -- it was super fun!
21. Did you fall in love in 2007?
No but I stayed in love. It amazes me how truly smitten I still am.
22. What was your favorite TV program?
Barefoot Contessa, Grey's Anatomy, The Hills, Top Chef -- TV is for zoning out, not always for changing the world.
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Nope.
24. What was the best book you read?
The Kite Runner. Such a page turner, plus quite a bit of it takes place in Fremont, where I grew up, so it was a bit nostalgic.
25. Who were your favorite musical artists?
New Pornographers, Of Montreal, Peter Bjorn & John, Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins, Cold War Kids
26. What did you want and get?
To live with Garrett.
27. What did you want and not get?
To live with Garrett permanently.
28. What was your favorite film of this year?
God I hardly remember any movies that I saw this year. Did The Descent come out this year -- cuz I'm STILL talking about how scary that was!
29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
It's ironic that this is the 29th question because I celebrated my 29th birthday -- at Apple Hill for the day and then in keeping with tradition dinner at Latitudes.
30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Not much -- it was pretty satisfying.
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?
I think I described my personal fashion concept pretty well here.
32. What kept you sane?
Venting.
33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Ryan Gosling, Peter Sarsgaard, Joaquin Phoenix, Max from Dancing with the Stars. They do it.
34. What political issue stirred you the most?
Reducing my "carbon footprint." Although I have 2 things to say about that. 1. I hate that phrase, it is lame. It's so lame that I want to obdurately oppose it, except that behind the stupid semantics its probably a smart thing to do. 2. Does that count as a political issue? Because I think it is a human issue and shouldn't have anything to do with politics, but it is what sprung to mind first when I thought about political issues. Also lame.
35. Who did you miss?
Jenny Penny. MOVE UP HERE, damnit. And bring your ugly Christmas Sweaters.
36. Who was the best new person you met?
I quite like my cousin Jim's girlfriend Gina.
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007.
Time is precious and you are the only person who chooses how you spend it.
38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
Physics makes us all its bitches.
Ate oysters -- and they were DELICIOUS!
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I did go to the library more, but I didn't read 30 books. I made new resolutions and you can find them here.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Not last year. I think everyone I knew was too busy getting married.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
No, thank goodness.
5. What countries did you visit?
This one.
6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
The ability to keep up my success at work, while also maintaining my social life, seeing my friends and family, pursuing my hobbies AND getting enough sleep!!! I don't think that's too much to ask.
7. What dates from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
June 4th - when I started my new position at work.
Nov 17th - my two year anniversary with Garrett
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Getting my new position and getting accepted in the Emerging Leaders Program at my work.
9. What was your biggest failure?
Not being able to juggle my job success so that it could include time for me and time with friends.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I got in a car accident August 9th and my car was totaled. It wreaked havoc on my body a bit.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
A cute laptop bag. Wow...I'm starting to feel like my life revolves around work! Boo!
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My mom -- for always having an ear to listen, always giving great advice, and being my biggest cheerleader even though I am almost 30! Also Jeremy -- for dealing with divorce with more grace than anyone I know. He deserves a medal.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
I think it's a toss up between Spears and Lohan. And if we are being honest, the aforementioned EX.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Debt -- hey, it's getting paid off though!
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Taking Garrett to Humboldt, work successes, time that I spent with my family this summer.
16. What songs will always remind you of 2007?
Amsterdam by Peter, Bjorn, and John
Modern World by Wolf Parade
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:? a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?
Happier, Fatter, Richer -- meh. Two outta three ain't bad.
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Spent more time by the ocean. Got out of town a bit more. Garrett's house has been in the process of being remodeled for almost 6 months now, and even though it's pretty much done, it definitely took the wind out of our vacation sails for the latter part of the year.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Staying in.
20. How did you spend Christmas?
In Lincoln with my family and with Garrett -- it was super fun!
21. Did you fall in love in 2007?
No but I stayed in love. It amazes me how truly smitten I still am.
22. What was your favorite TV program?
Barefoot Contessa, Grey's Anatomy, The Hills, Top Chef -- TV is for zoning out, not always for changing the world.
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Nope.
24. What was the best book you read?
The Kite Runner. Such a page turner, plus quite a bit of it takes place in Fremont, where I grew up, so it was a bit nostalgic.
25. Who were your favorite musical artists?
New Pornographers, Of Montreal, Peter Bjorn & John, Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins, Cold War Kids
26. What did you want and get?
To live with Garrett.
27. What did you want and not get?
To live with Garrett permanently.
28. What was your favorite film of this year?
God I hardly remember any movies that I saw this year. Did The Descent come out this year -- cuz I'm STILL talking about how scary that was!
29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
It's ironic that this is the 29th question because I celebrated my 29th birthday -- at Apple Hill for the day and then in keeping with tradition dinner at Latitudes.
30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Not much -- it was pretty satisfying.
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?
I think I described my personal fashion concept pretty well here.
32. What kept you sane?
Venting.
33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Ryan Gosling, Peter Sarsgaard, Joaquin Phoenix, Max from Dancing with the Stars. They do it.
34. What political issue stirred you the most?
Reducing my "carbon footprint." Although I have 2 things to say about that. 1. I hate that phrase, it is lame. It's so lame that I want to obdurately oppose it, except that behind the stupid semantics its probably a smart thing to do. 2. Does that count as a political issue? Because I think it is a human issue and shouldn't have anything to do with politics, but it is what sprung to mind first when I thought about political issues. Also lame.
35. Who did you miss?
Jenny Penny. MOVE UP HERE, damnit. And bring your ugly Christmas Sweaters.
36. Who was the best new person you met?
I quite like my cousin Jim's girlfriend Gina.
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007.
Time is precious and you are the only person who chooses how you spend it.
38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
Physics makes us all its bitches.
I resolve to be resolute: 2008 edition
My habit has always been to commit goals to writing. I like to cross things off lists and I'm ashamed to admit I can totally have the "Called it!" mentality at times. Though I'm not particularly ceremonial about New Year's Resolutions -- as evidenced by last year's random post -- I always at least think about them and at least make a few.
This year I'm taking a new approach. I decided that if I combined my year round goal setting with my New Year's "Resolution-ing" (even though they are kind of the same thing) I would thereby assure myself a better than average chance of completing all resolutions. See how this works? More resolutions made, more to pat myself on the back for completing. It's all convoluted mind trickery up here in my brain. I can rationalize with the best of them, I swear. You should see me at the mall, or reading the dessert menu.
Anyway, with that being said (and fully acknowledging that I owe all of you the Part 2 to my Construction Delays story), I thought I would post my New Year's resolutions for 2008. I've put them in categories because I'm a hyper-organized list maker but also because I am the type of person who can get focused on one specific aspect of my life at times, so I figured at least if I had a categorized list I could still be somewhat productive even when I'm completely other ignoring things. Hmm...maybe for 2009 I will try some type of life-integration strategy so I can spin all my plates at once, but at this point that is neither here nor there. So without further ado, here are my goals for 2008 -- what are you all doing?
Daily Life
Consistently dress professionally at work (including hair, makeup, and all those details -- and even on casual Friday)
See more movies by myself
Floss nightly
Pack lighter on trips
Swear less
Stretch Daily
Be more diligent and timely about Thank You Notes
Get back to my old more "creative" habits (I hate the word crafty, but basically get my craft on!)
Home
Organize a crafting space
Print out more of my photos
Throw out old clothes
FINALLY find a closet organization system that works
Grow an herb garden
Get a dog
Health and Wellness
Exercise for at least 30 minutes, 3x per week (outside as much as possible!)
Do yoga once per week
Get back to my free weight loving self
Use sunscreen more vigilantly (especially on face -- SPF make up is not enough! Do you want to look like a leather face?)
Do the Couch to 5k program
Run 5k
Go hiking (preferably with Garrett) at least once a month
Get teeth cleaned twice
Family and Friends
Acknowledge all birthdays at least with a phone call
Give presents and send cards on time
Host at least one party/bbq/soiree
Make and send more mix CDs
Send a care package for no reason
Be a better emailer
Keep address book updated
Send Christmas cards with non-obnoxious update letter
Cooking and Baking
Go to Farmers Market at least once per month
Make Jam
Use crock pot more
Try Pickling peppers and veggies
Make an infused Olive Oil
Make at least one meal from one of my MANY cookbooks per week
Make chicken stock from scratch
Plan meals
Purchase and wear apron
Take a cooking class
Go wine tasting twice this year (even if that just means to pick up your wine club shippment and have a glass you have never tasted)
Try at least one new restaurant per month (hello, entertainment book!)
Go out for dinner with friends at least once per month
Bake something every other week (but take to work so it doesn't sit around the house forcing me against my will to eat the whole thing)
Brain
Read at least 30 books
Start learning a new language
Blog about books that I read
Learn to knit again (see: get craft on)
Blog 2-3 times per week
Make the move to typepad
Take a photography class
Purse freelance writing opportunities more diligently
Money
Get student loans under control
Continue with debt reduction plan
Start saving 10%
Purchase a bookkeeping program for computer
Love
Make something for Garrett
Listen more, talk less
Plan at least 2 weekends out of town just for the two of us (not for weddings, not for holidays, not for parties)
Think before I speak when I'm angry
Commit his small daily gestures to memory and keep in mind during the "thinking before speaking when angry"
Go on more McKinley picnics
Career
Fret not, I do have a multitude of career goals, though I won't be posting them here. I did, however, get into an awesome program this year at my job called Emerging Leaders which is definitely going to help me fine tune some of my long term career goals which I am really excited about. I may post a bit about that, but I'm pretty much sticking to my No Talking About Work rule.
Consumption
Buy a car
Buy a new computer
Buy a brown coat
Buy an SLR
Buy photoshop
This year I'm taking a new approach. I decided that if I combined my year round goal setting with my New Year's "Resolution-ing" (even though they are kind of the same thing) I would thereby assure myself a better than average chance of completing all resolutions. See how this works? More resolutions made, more to pat myself on the back for completing. It's all convoluted mind trickery up here in my brain. I can rationalize with the best of them, I swear. You should see me at the mall, or reading the dessert menu.
Anyway, with that being said (and fully acknowledging that I owe all of you the Part 2 to my Construction Delays story), I thought I would post my New Year's resolutions for 2008. I've put them in categories because I'm a hyper-organized list maker but also because I am the type of person who can get focused on one specific aspect of my life at times, so I figured at least if I had a categorized list I could still be somewhat productive even when I'm completely other ignoring things. Hmm...maybe for 2009 I will try some type of life-integration strategy so I can spin all my plates at once, but at this point that is neither here nor there. So without further ado, here are my goals for 2008 -- what are you all doing?
Daily Life
Consistently dress professionally at work (including hair, makeup, and all those details -- and even on casual Friday)
See more movies by myself
Floss nightly
Pack lighter on trips
Swear less
Stretch Daily
Be more diligent and timely about Thank You Notes
Get back to my old more "creative" habits (I hate the word crafty, but basically get my craft on!)
Home
Organize a crafting space
Print out more of my photos
Throw out old clothes
FINALLY find a closet organization system that works
Grow an herb garden
Get a dog
Health and Wellness
Exercise for at least 30 minutes, 3x per week (outside as much as possible!)
Do yoga once per week
Get back to my free weight loving self
Use sunscreen more vigilantly (especially on face -- SPF make up is not enough! Do you want to look like a leather face?)
Do the Couch to 5k program
Run 5k
Go hiking (preferably with Garrett) at least once a month
Get teeth cleaned twice
Family and Friends
Acknowledge all birthdays at least with a phone call
Give presents and send cards on time
Host at least one party/bbq/soiree
Make and send more mix CDs
Send a care package for no reason
Be a better emailer
Keep address book updated
Send Christmas cards with non-obnoxious update letter
Cooking and Baking
Go to Farmers Market at least once per month
Make Jam
Use crock pot more
Try Pickling peppers and veggies
Make an infused Olive Oil
Make at least one meal from one of my MANY cookbooks per week
Make chicken stock from scratch
Plan meals
Purchase and wear apron
Take a cooking class
Go wine tasting twice this year (even if that just means to pick up your wine club shippment and have a glass you have never tasted)
Try at least one new restaurant per month (hello, entertainment book!)
Go out for dinner with friends at least once per month
Bake something every other week (but take to work so it doesn't sit around the house forcing me against my will to eat the whole thing)
Brain
Read at least 30 books
Start learning a new language
Blog about books that I read
Learn to knit again (see: get craft on)
Blog 2-3 times per week
Make the move to typepad
Take a photography class
Purse freelance writing opportunities more diligently
Money
Get student loans under control
Continue with debt reduction plan
Start saving 10%
Purchase a bookkeeping program for computer
Love
Make something for Garrett
Listen more, talk less
Plan at least 2 weekends out of town just for the two of us (not for weddings, not for holidays, not for parties)
Think before I speak when I'm angry
Commit his small daily gestures to memory and keep in mind during the "thinking before speaking when angry"
Go on more McKinley picnics
Career
Fret not, I do have a multitude of career goals, though I won't be posting them here. I did, however, get into an awesome program this year at my job called Emerging Leaders which is definitely going to help me fine tune some of my long term career goals which I am really excited about. I may post a bit about that, but I'm pretty much sticking to my No Talking About Work rule.
Consumption
Buy a car
Buy a new computer
Buy a brown coat
Buy an SLR
Buy photoshop
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