Do Not Collect $200.
Instead, please buy this book immediately:
Such a Pretty Fat by Jen Lancaster
(who by the way, also has a pretty funny blog)
Honestly I have only put it down to eat, sleep, or pee in the last 48 hours. Ask Garrett, he will vouch.
It's the first book I have read this summer that made me laugh out loud in numerous places.
How much do I love that?