December 16, 2009

Check Your Head, Crazypants Website

I had to order new checks today (and honestly I don't even know why I ordered them because what on earth do I even use checks for these days) so I went online to some dumb website and picked out the least offensive, cheapest checks possible and proceeded to try and checkout. And no they didn't have Disney Characters on them, or Anne Geddes Babies, or Girls Washing Their Hair, or whatever other shit they were trying to charge me $30 for. They were just checks. To write on. If I pay things. I do not consider checks part of my "Personal Brand" as it were.

So after declining the "prevent check fraud" option like 4 separate times in which I had to keep manually clicking on a radio button that said something totally inflammatory like "Yes, that's right I don't care about check fraud, crazies please come get me and my money" --it was finally time to choose a shipping option. Quick sidebar: I am not sure that your stupid watermark for $3 per box is really going to prevent fraud anyway, and even if it does, I would rather spend that money on my stupid credit check every month to make sure no one is stealing my freakin identity, OK? Jesus Crimony, Batman! Fighting crime these days is so exhausting! So anyway, shipping options...The options included a $6.95 standard shipping charge for a 7-9 business day arrival (for my $9 checks that probably weigh half a pound, but whatevs) or an "overnight" option that I could select for $22.95 which meant my checks would arrive in, oh...FOUR TO SEVEN DAYS.

I'm sorry, what? I thought this shit was overnight. If I'm going to pay twice the price of the actual product I am purchasing, JUST TO SHIP IT "OVERNIGHT", I want that shit on my counter top tomorrow morning, preferably pouring me a cup of piping hot cup of coffee and making me an friggin omelet.

So yeah, I chose the regular shipping option, and I'll probably get my checks a year from now -- but I guess the upside is that's probably the next time I will need to use one, so I've got that going for me.


Manda said...

Oh my gosh I HATE checks. And yet? Sometimes you just need them. And usually you realize you're out on the one occasion you actually do. BOO.

Heather said...

Hijacking your thread from SheLikesPurple to beg for your cranberry margarita recipe. YUM YUM.

And yeah, check ordering stinks!

Merry Christmas.


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