February 17, 2010

Hijinks Ensue

I'm pretty sure I've said this before, but Garrett and I work for the same company. Most people wonder how we spend that much time together without killing each other, but we work at a big company, we don't work in the same department (or even on the same floor) so, you know, all of that helps with the killing part. We generally aren't breathing down each other's necks all day while also living together so frankly I've found it's actually kind of a perk.  If I'm having a bad day, he is a phone call away and we can head out for a quick walk or whatever.  If I have an embarrassing Excel problem I can just give him a ring instead of asking one of my co-workers and risk looking like an absolute reject. Well, at least I think it's a perk anyway. The jury is probably still out from Garrett's perspective now that I think about it. Anyway, it's also super convenient that we get to carpool together because we listen to audio books -- Oh, have I not told you already about how we are giant nerds? Because while we're on the subject, we also DVR Jeopardy. Thank god we found each other.

Anyway, one of the potential downsides that people always inquire about with this whole working together thing is: Doesn't that mean that you two are usually getting ready at the same time? And the answer is yes. And if you have ever shared a bathroom with anyone with both of you trying to be at the same place at the same time, it may sound super annoying -- but I swear it isn't so bad.  For one our bathroom is large enough to accommodate two people pretty comfortably, but more importantly I am officially convinced we have some of our funniest exchanges while getting ready in the morning. And a good laugh is a pretty darn good way to start your day. 
For example:

I use a product called Big Sexy Hair right before I blow dry, and  Garrett can't get over the ridiculousness of that name.  It never fails that he will work that into the conversation even though I never quite know when it's going to happen. Often times it's from the other room and he'll say something like "Oh hey, you know what I've been meaning to tell you?" And as soon as I show concern or interest he says, "That you have some Big! Sexy! Hair!" Never fails. I don't think I'm a particularly gullible person, but I fall for it every single time. You'd think I would learn.

Also, over tooth and hair brushing, we have conversations of The Very Important Variety, like yesterday, when we mapped out all of Season 2 of Jersey Shore. We hypothesize as follows:

Snookie will come back, of course. That girl could have her own show. In fact, if she shows up as the host of some kind of arbitrary MTV dating show prior to the new Jersey Shore season, we will not be surprised. Pickled Hijinks ensue.

The Situation and Pauly D will be trolling for tail and GTL'ing once again, although now that everyone knows who they are, the hos will be infinitely trashier. Hijinks ensue.

JWoww will not come back to the shore with a boyfriend. Lesson learned people. She will also spend the season wearing (or should I say WOWW-ing) the crowds with her high fashion line of club gear the entire time. Hijinks ensue.

Vinny, we predict, will show up with a girlfriend though. He can't possibly make it another year without a lady to wait on him hand and foot just like his mama. Hijinks (well probably won't) ensue with this one. Just like last season.

Ronnie and Sammy will totally be broken up. Ronnie will be ho-ing it with Pauly D and The Situation, all of course to Sammie's whiny dismay. She will still follow him around putting in and pulling out her hair extensions, muttering about her Fred Flinstone toe all the while. They will surely be the new Wes and Johanna. Hijinks ensue.

(Disclaimer:  We may watch a little bit too much MTV for our age.)

Angelina will totally come back and everyone will hate her because now instead of just being a trash bag carrying bitch, she is a poser cash cow trash bag carrying bitch who looks NOTHING like Kim Kardashian, btw. Hijinks ensue.

So you see...getting ready together in the morning has its perks. We get to solve the world's problems as we coif. And what better way to nurture a relationship, huh? I mean it worked for Sammie and Ronnie, right?

Oh wait...

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