November 07, 2007

Dear Target,

Ok seriously, the fact that Christmas is around the corner is totally blowing my mind. You see Target, every year come the first of November, all of a sudden the greedy "I want" monster that usually lives dormantly inside of me is fiercly unleashed. Everywhere I go, there are multitudes of things I just want to run off with. And everything feels like a MUST HAVE. I need that turtleneck, I must hang that wreath, that purse would be perfect for the holiday party, wouldn't those new plates make that dinner taste better? You don't help with this my dear friend, you are making me lose all sense of reason.

Don't get me wrong, Target, I've always liked you, but seriously, during this time of year you feel like a compulsion that I am working daily to fight off. I need a remedy. Maybe there's there a vitamin for that? Ooooooh, might you perhaps sell it in your Toiletries Section? Hey- wait- No! Damn you Target! There you go again, luring me in with your sensible products. You are like the super strength sickness that has become immune to all antibiotics. I mean how am I supposed to be able to my q tips and toothpaste in peace when I have to see stuff like this lying around:

Seriously. I want that kitchen. I NEED that kitchen. But look, its not even really a kitchen! Your marketing folks are geniuses, you know. I mean really, just randomly placed appliances sitting on a table? Yet I still feel an immediate lust for it. It doesn't matter that I have almost everything there already because I don't have them in RED! And don't even get me started on your adorable TV ads with their catchy songs. ARGH!

Look, I'm trying to be nice here. I don't want this to get all ugly or anything, all I'm saying is -- quit reading my diary, ok? Oh yeah, and one last thing -- did I hear correctly that your cover charge is going from $50 per visit to $150? Get back to me, could ya?


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