So Garrett has this wonderful quality that I just can't get enough of. He just doesn't slack. Ok, so that's probably not totally true, but I'm convinced that his tendency to slack is just astronomically smaller than anyone else I've ever met. What makes it stand out to me is the ease with which he tackles things that have me, personally, breaking into a cold sweat. I swear its like he reads my diary. It's like I've made a list of all the things that I find difficult to do, put off until tomorrow, or hoped would do themselves, and he's read it, done it, and it's old news. And I'm so flippin jealous!!! So I was thinking tonight, what if I just took those things and just didn't slack. I mean really--how hard can that be? Read my own diary and just do it. You know, like instead of beating myself up sometimes because I don't floss twice a day like I should-- Well, what if I just start? I mean couldn't it be that easy? I know that sometimes life gets overwhelming, or the red wine flows like water, and well, flossing just doesn't seem to rank. But what if, instead of putting things off and feeling guilty about them--I just did them. Hmm..simple, bizarre, true.
I used to get up 5 days a week at like 3:45am. Now, who in their right mind does that? It's NUTS. But after awhile its just the norm. It's no big deal, its not painful. You can do it drunk, you can do it sober. You just do it. Now that I'm out of the habit it seems horrific, but I'm absolutely certan I could do it for a week or two and be absolutely back into the groove. So why can't I do that with say--keeping my closet organized, or grocery shopping on a regular basis, or packing a lunch for work everyday. These things aren't half as horrific as depriving myself of sleep, but they are so hard for me to make myself do.
Choosing to make yourself do something seems to be the key though, right? It reminds me of when I was living in LA and my old roommate would be working at 5am, going to school, doing his homework, working a 2nd job, getting decent grades and still finding time to spend time with his family in the valley, see his friends on the weekends, write a one man show, and hello---still be fun! One day I stopped him and said "Fredo, how do you do all that and not just collapse?" and he looked at me and said "Oh I just keep going." And I thought to myself--yes, yes he does. It was like profundity personified.
So every once in a while when I have alot going on and I am feeling overwhelmed, I often think of that conversation and realize that the decision is mine I will either choose to crap out, or choose to keep going. I know, this is not rocket science here, but it's major to me. So what if I did that kind of simplifying with all the little loose ends that I'm trying to deal with in my life. God knows I've got the list of 'em going. Instead of worrying, and whining, and being anxious at night--what if just didn't slack anymore? Ever.
It's gotta be possible right? I think I'm gonna try it.