Keepin' It Classy

Just in case there was any confusion about how classy my family and I are -- we spent Christmas Eve singing this in lieu of Christmas Carols...I mean hey -- it's Holiday themed!

Bring Back the Slam Book!!

God, remember slam books??? Ah, how I miss the simplicity of elementary school and the ability that a pink pen had to change the entire outlook of my day. Anyway, this post is pretty boring and self indulgent (HA! Which one isn't?) but it reminded me of elementary school slam books...

The ABCs

A - Available or Single? Um, those are not opposites. And I'm happily taken by the way. Wait, Taken is a dumb word. Let's just say I count my blessings everyday that I have Garrett. That's better.
B - Best friend? See Above
C - Cake or Pie? Oh god, CAKE! Carrot cake, white cake, chocolate cake...Yes please.
D - Drink of choice? Coffee in the morning, water always, Diet Coke/Diet Squirt if I need some carbonated refreshment, a tasty cab/gin and tonic after a long day.
E - Essential item you use every day? Lipgloss
F - What do you do for Fun? Cook, watch movies, go out on the town, see friends, read, write
G - Gummy bears or worms? Worms. huh. What an odd thing to have a preference about, but apparently I do. Who knew?
H - Hometown? Born in Rochester, Michigan but grew up in Fremont, CA
I - Indulgence? Going to bed on clean sheets after a hot bubble bath WITH shaved legs and a book so good I can't put it down
J - January or February? January...who doesn't love a fresh start?
K - Kids and Names? I'm sure I will think of some when I have some.
L - Life is incomplete without? love
M - Messy or Neat? It depends. If I lived alone, you could eat off my floor. But sharing space with other people, I am probably messier than I'd like to admit.
N - Number of Siblings? None...the lonely only
O - Oranges or Apples? I like the taste of oranges better (when they're good) but I like the instant gratification of apples more.
P - Phobia / Fears? Spiders sure do get the blood pumping
Q - Favorite Quote? Only those who risk going to far can possibly find out how far one can go --T.S Eliot
R - Reason to smile? My life is good, my family is healthy, my friends are awesome, and I'm totally in love. What's not to smile about?
S - Favorite Season? Autumn, hands down
T - Favorite time of day? Right when I wake up and everything is quiet
U - Unkown fact about me? I love watching infomercials
V - Vegetable you don't like? Um, I don't think there is one. Oh wait...I don't LOVE mushrooms
W - Worst habit? Being 100% unable to ever hold my tongue. I pretty much say what I think at all times. Sometimes it would behoove me to just sit on a thought for a while.
X - Xrays you've had? I have no clue. I haven't really been hospitalized that much and I've never broken a bone, so probably not many if any.
Y - Your favorite food? All of it.
Z - Zodiac sign? Libra

How to Annoy Me...A User's Guide

So I'm hoping that I'm out of the woods with this rummy haze I've been in
for the past two weeks. With some holiday extravaganzas happening and
a bout with a nasty cold that just refuses to go away, I've been waiting
patiently for some clarity of mind to return so I could post something
incredibly witty and useful, but I'm pretty sure that's not going to happen.
Frankly, I'm overly crabby. Though I've secretly always wanted to have a really bad cold just so I can test the medicinal acuity of only whiskey and sleep -- right now I am very over still being sick -- and when I'm feeling sorry for myself for being sick, everything starts pissing me off it seems.

For example:

1. Why do people mistake the word Bravado for Brave. Just because you
add an -ADO onto the end of a word, does not make it more fancy. It actually does what I like to call, CHANGES THE MEANING YOU IDIOT! And just because something almost sounds like something else...doesn't mean it is something else. Isn't this like one of those things we learned in Kindergarten?

2. Why do people assume when they have any kind of sore throat that they have strep throat? For the record, strep throat is a very specific virus, which you must be tested for to confirm. Just because you wake up in the morning and your throat hurts a little and it happens to be Winter, DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE STREP!!!!!! These are the same stupid people who think you get a cold from it "being" cold. Once again, I know they sound similar, but they are NOT THE SAME.

3. Piggy backing on that -- Attention people with headaches: just because
you are incredibly put out when your head hurts "really bad" does not mean you have a migraine. Migraines, as well, are a very specific type of headache. Unless you have a license to practice medicine or you ate a brain tumor for breakfast, I'm pretty sure you probably don't have one, and I'm definitely sure you can't diagnose it. So don't. There are lots of people to whom you can pay exorbitant amounts of money to do that for you...and there are even more people you can pay exorbitant amounts of money to create little pills you can take for it. And by "it", I mean the stupidity that's being cultivated in your brain that is clearly causing it to hurt!

4. Why does anyone in their right mind re-heat any sort of exceptionally
spicy, fishy, meaty (read: stinky) food in a confined space? Does that make any sense? Maybe fish head stew, or oxtail casserole, or plates of quivering beef taste good to you -- and that's fine. I'm very proud of you, and not knocking your taste in cuisine. But if the smell makes me want to vomit, then I'm pretty sure it might make a few other people want to vomit as well, and might I remind you, we are in a confined space, and vomiting is not what we're trying to do here, remember?

5. And while I'm at it -- Who hell carts their dogs around in a BABY STROLLER? Why is Paris Hilton famous? And why can't Britney cover up her lady parts?


Some days I think I just should have stayed in bed.

One's Trash is Another's Treasure

This book is totally following me around and it is kind of creepy! I feel like everywhere I go I keep hearing about it, seeing it, reading about it...It's like "Ok, Ok I'll read you already!" I definitely think the title is intriguing, and I am almost always up for an intellectual exchange about the differences in perceptions and opinions between men and women.

I finally broke down and headed to the author's website and the questions are intriguing. I mean where do we get our ideas on beauty, and why is a man's identity so fiercely intertwined in his career? I guess I'm interested in hearing what Darwin has to say about it through the lens of Michael Gilbert. Although I get slightly leery of books when the words "important" and "provocative" are stamped all over it.

Maybe this guy is a total douchebag...

Maybe Santa will bring it to me for Christmas...

Yes that's right, I can make just about anything selfish...

I think I spent the first 20 years of my life hating all seafood without ever even trying a bite. Some sort of domestic propaganda (or perhaps just my mother's distaste for it) convinced me that it was something that I needed to stay far far away from. Who are we kidding, I didn't cook for myself until college, so consequently "I don't eat anything that swims" used to be a mantra that I chanted with pride. But then one day the weirdest thing happened...I tried a little bite of one my good friend's sushi rolls, and realizing I could have my own opinions about food, I was totally hooked! I know, I know that was a sad sad pun! It was truly bizarre having spent my whole life thinking I didn't like something, only to discover it is one of the greatest and most diverse culinary delicacies EVER! It was kind of mindblowing to be honest. So after that experience I didn't just toy with enjoying your basic sushi rolls, I branched out to tasting other fish - cooked fish, shellfish, sashimi-- well really anything 'of the sea' at this point. Apparently I've spent the past 8 years making up for lost time.

I have to say though, there is a part of me that feels like my shunning fish in my youth caused me to miss out on many years of unadulterated enjoyment. I'm not weeping over fish sticks and tartar sauce in front of the Atari, or what could have been, I'm merely noting that in falling in love with seafood later in life means I am forced to acknowledge that there are health and environmental concerns associated with this type of cuisine and as an adult being oblivious just doesn't have the same kind of adorable quality. I know these concerns exist, and as someone who is grown, I feel I need to approach my consumption responsibly. Not that I am an excessive environmentalist, or exceptionally commited to purity and health, but I feel obligated to make myself aware of common perils and preventions associated with eating seafood, if for no other reason that to assuage my own fears and deter my own guilt.

With that being said I was hopscotching around on the net reading about this exact topic and came upon some relevant information about the lack of federal legislation concerning offshore aquaculture (don't even ask -- I don't even know where I ended up or how I got there -- all I know is our mainframe was down at work and I was bored). I also found some really useful checklists offering information about the farming of certain species of fish, as well as warnings about which fish are healthier options than others with respect to contaminats. (If I had been paying more attention at the time, I could have saved the link and put right here in this very riveting and informative post. damn it to heck!!) Anyway -- I was bummed to find out that many of the different types of tuna that I love so dearly, are endangered and probably shouldn't be cut up into spicy little pieces and consumed with a delectable bottle if Nigori sake (mmm...that just made my mouth water). I also learned that the sea bass I just consumed the other night at Moxie, though covered in a toasty and flavorful coating of macadamia nuts, was probably not the most ethical choice I could have made. Damn.

But you know what I did find out that just totally rocked my world??? A ton of shrimp is farmed in various unethical ways around the world! SCORE!!! Why does this rock my world, you ask? Because I HATE shrimp, and have spent countless years chastising my tastebuds for eschewing their nubby little texture and slimy flavorless taste. And now I feel quite holier-than-thou in that rejection (and it is a rare moment when I can say that). Now instead of passing up the shrimp tray at parties, and racking my brain for a witty excuse as to why I won't touch this commonly enjoyed dish -- I will just turn up my nose and say (in a mock British accent for effect, of course) "The unethical farming of these dear little creatures just absolutely revolts me...I couldn't possibly..." And then I will walk away feeling smug!

Please, you didn't think I was getting all political on you, did you???

Sometimes The World Is Just Against You

I enjoyed Taco Bell for the first time in ages today...and when I came home the Victoria's Secret fashion show was on. Moo.