Hot Shots

I almost don't even know where to begin.

Last night began in a most innocuous fashion. Garrett and I were getting together with Jeremy and Hilary to have some drinks and play some pool because, heck -- it was almost Friday -- which in my opinion demands a weekly celebration, and besides we always have so much damn fun with them! Do you have those kind of friends? You know, the ones who you could call on a Friday night if you wanted to have an evening of intelligent conversation over a glass of Cabernet, but who you could also call the following night and invite over to have a pitcher of PBR and spend the whole night telling fart jokes and listening to New Edition all the while waxing philosophical about American Idol? God, I love those kinds of friends! They're just so great! And Jeremy and Hilary seriously live up to that kinda hype, so consequently we force them to hang out with us as much as humanly possible.

(By the way, if you guys are reading this, sorry I just outed you guys for liking fart jokes. Or PBR. Whichever is more offensive.)

Anyway, a week or two earlier they had discovered this dive by their house that advertised pool and "entertainment", and since Garrett and I had just recently brushed up on our billiards at the Lost Coast Brewery last weekend, we thought it would be fun to exercise our mediocre pool skills, and of course our very above average shit talking skills. So we get to this place, and despite the fact that it is in a strip mall, and all patrons are required to screw in their own lightbulbs over the table if they want an illuminated game, it looked like it was going to be a pretty fun time. I mean they sold Hot Pockets and Costco Chicken Bakes at the snack bar, for god's sake, nothing says "classy" like meaty, cheesy, bready pouches of saturated fat -- frozen in single servings for your convenience.

So being that it was relatively early, it seemed we had our pick of the pool tables. Unfortunately though, we were informed that the table that we had chosen was unavailable because shortly it would be used as the karaoke stage. That's right, KARAOKE. STAGE. Ohmagod, this night was about to get even better. So Hilary and I blew a fiver at the juke box playing some clutch "oldies" like November Rain (how much do I miss Guns'n'Roses?) and some LL Cool J from his days of better judgment (LL, seriously? A duet with J.Lo? What were you thinking?) and we all just generally enjoyed each others company and the frosty beer mugs for a good hour. And then, dear reader, the craziness began.

So somewhere in that timespan, a young lady (and by the way I'm using that term loosely) arrived wearing quite the striking ensemble which consisted of a denim ultra-mini-skirt and a turquoise ruffley tube top. Now, as we all know it's getting hot out, and I realize that when this happens, inevitably the "night-out-on-the-town" outfits get smaller and smaller. That being said, I feel fairly safe asserting that if your gross body weight exceeds 400 lbs, a mini-skirt and tube combo is not the most flattering of options. I think you would agree with me, no? Now I'm not one to hate on the voluptuous figures, being that my own definitely doesn't qualify me for any Miss Fitness USA contests, but come on...use some common sense! Needless to say she was attracting quite a bit of attention, and I think she was kind of liking it. This only increased when she decided to kickoff the night of karaoke by doing her rendition of Adina Howard's vulgar 90s hit "Freak Like Me", to which the bartender promptly responded to by letting us know that it would take a lot more than "a roughneck brother" to satisfy her. Fret not though, because she immediately followed up this assertion of freakiness by escorting a gentleman friend (whose status as a "roughneck brother" had yet to be determined, for the record) into the single stall bathrooms right next to our pool table. And to think we were initially bummed that our first choice table was being turned into karaoke headquarters. Huh.

So while our lady and gentleman friends were busy in the loo doing -- well, whatever it is people do inside public bathrooms at pool halls that sell Hot Pockets -- the karaoke continued. We were treated to a cheeky rendition of the Commodores uber-smash "Night Shift", and something else fairly unmemorable before Hilary finally decided to get up and basically show everyone who was boss by singing "What a Feeling!". By this time, lady and gentleman had left the bathroom (and fairly quickly I might add, for what its worth) and were chasing each other around swearing. I wasn't really sure how to interpret that, except to maybe assume that their idea of a pre-party had involved prescription drugs mixed with some milder form of PCP, but at that point I was kind of bored with them and had moved onto being fascinated by the MIDGET. SINGING. JANIS. JOPLIN.

You think I'm joking.

I almost wish I was.

But alas, there she sang in all her 4 feet of glory, and it was at that point that I had a major realization. Up until that exact moment, it had never occured to me that a good karaoke singer must not only have the hard to find combination of drunken fearlessness, great pipes, and a lively stage presence -- but that on top of all that, a major factor that apparently lends itself to awe-inspiring performances (or not for that matter) is LITERACY! I mean really, who knew? It was a lightbulb moment for me, kinda like when I was 18 and went away to college and I realized that when you live alone and you leave dishes in the sink, no one does them for you. Profound, I tell you. So later on in the evening the midget again practiced her phonics skills to the beat of Bonnie Tyler's "Total Eclipse of the Heart", and while I would say that it was by far her best performance of the night, I wasn't quite comfortable betting that she could read the streets signs outside, or find her way home without a chaperone.

Aside from all the horrid singing, or rather the "kinda pitchy" vocals that would have made Randy Jackson shake his head and say "I don't know, dawg" we were treated to a few gems of the country persuation when a delightful young whippersnapper belted out Reba McIntyre's "The Night the Lights Went out in Georgia", but then she had to ruin it when she got up with all her drunk friends and sang AfroMan's "Because I Got High", which, although a revolutionary anthem for some segment of the population, I'm sure, is just kinda boring to watch drunk co-eds sing.

Meanwhile back at the bathroom, our lady and gentleman had reconvened. I think they were maybe going back there to hold hands and tell Bible stories or something, but they were rudely interupted by another woman opening the bathroom door that [shocker] they had forgotten to lock. I think they were right in the middle of talking about the serpent and the tree of knowledge, but I can't be sure. Unfortunately for our gentleman friend, his pants were sadly around his ankles, and something about the gust of fresh air had knocked some sense into our lady friend, and she was out the door. Slowly and lamely, the gentleman pulled up his pants and grabbed his belongings that he had temporarily been storing on the FLOOR OF THE PUBLIC BATHROOM -- and then quickly he rushed off to find his Princess Charming, who had run outside to answer a very pressing cell phone call and sip on a Smirnoff Raspberry Ice (give the girl a break, she was probably thirsty after all that "storytelling"). Oh, and did I mention that as he walked by, the gentleman accidentally dropped his boxer shorts right at Garrett's feet as he was taking a shot? I'd like to think he was leaving as a good luck charm, or as some cheer of male-billiard-solidarity, but alas I think I might have just been seeing the situation through rose colored glasses.

Basically the night was all around awesome. It was the kind of night you couldn't script, because no one would believe it actually happened. Especially at the end, when Jeremy ceremoniously sank the 8-ball at the exact moment that Slash's guitar riff ended "Welcome to the Jungle". Just too much fun! And I decided after last night, if every Thursday has the potential to be full of this much mid-week madness, I might just start acquiring a taste for Hot Pockets.

You Are What You Drink

I know, I know -- I'm an ass! :) You thought it was funny for a second though, right???

Hodgepodge

Don't you just love when that category comes up on Jeopardy? It just makes me feel excited like I have a chance. You know, don't you tally up the possibilities at the beginning of the show when Alex Trebek reads off all the category names? "British Literature"(check!) "Chemistry" (mmm...maybe) "Historical Figures" (I'm out) "U.S. Presidents" (shit!) "Crossword Clues 'L' " (check!) and the final category "Hodgepodge" (wooo hooo...millions of possibilities). No? You don't do that? Hmmm, embarrassed once again, am I. Whatever, well I just love it! And I love the word Hodgepodge. It's a good word. Say it -- Hodgepodge. It just sounds like fun, doesn't it? I like it almost as much as I like "Potent Potables" but that's probably an entirely seperate blog.

Anyway a few random updates:

First, I decided to save you from my whiny conclusions that I came up with while thinking about Kurt Vonnegut. I realize this makes me look like a lazy douche, telling you that I came up with some "deep thoughts", promising them for later, and then sweeping it under the rug only to talk briefly about grammar tees, but seriously, it just got me feeling kinda down -- so I veto'd the whole post. It looked alot like a very wordy version of "Hi self, don't be so hard on yourself. You are nice, self. You work hard, self. Enjoy your life. You have many things to be grateful for." And then it got list-y. It had a lot more melody from the world's smallest violin though, and I really do hate it when I get caught up in those feeling sorry for myself moments. It's boring.

Second, Garrett and I went on this crazy, amazing hike up in the Oroville area to Feather Falls. Sweet baby Jesus, that place was beautiful! Now, I'm not really a hiker, but I really wish I was. I so desperately want to be one of those people who goes out and enjoys nature and talks nonchalantly about how easy it is climb rocks, and eat worms, drink water from a rubber bladder (ick!), but alas I'm just really not. It's not that I don't like nature (I love it actually, although my sinuses may tell you a different story) I think it's that my choice of nature-to-love just usually tends to be that of beautiful beaches where I can relax (and perhaps consume a frosty beverage), snow covered mountains that I can see from the window of a quaint cabin while sitting fireside (of course while consuming minty-hot grasshoppers), or kicking back camping in the gorgeous redwoods of Northern California (roasting marshmallows and again consuming a frosty beverage). Basically I tend to enjoy the lazier aspects of the commune with nature. I like to observe nature, not necessarily run right out and get all covered in it!
Now that being said, I am also somewhat of a challenge seeker. My stubbornness definitely lends itself to seeking out things that I don't think I will be able to do in really any arena. I do this solely because I enjoy proving that little voice in my head wrong, and because even at the ripe age of 28 I'm still a fan of sticking my tongue out smugly. Even if only metaphorically. Hence, the Feather Falls adventure.

So Garrett has been wanting to get outside more, and we have both been looking for fun ways to get a little bit more exercise, so when I ran across this article in the Sac Bee, I thought this would be a perfect way to get outside, get a little exercise, and also it would be a great challenge since I'm not really "outdoorsy". I am coincidentally also not the world's most experienced hiker, so traversing about 9 miles of dirt on any given afternoon is just a little out of my comfort zone. BUT -- at the top of this cozy little hike appeared to be some pretty beautiful waterfalls -- or so the Sac Bee promised, so we went! And despite the fact that the Bee had a penchant for leaving out integral parts of the directions, we found it, and hiked up to the top, and WOW...it was totally worth it! So pretty! The waterfalls, of course, definitely not me when I got to the top. Whoa! Unless of course your version of pretty involves sweaty matted hair, and no makeup -- and you know what, I've seen some of those Vogue pictorals, so maybe on this day Andre Leon Talley would have thought I was pretty, but that's not the point. The point is, the view at the top was spectacular! And it was even spectacular going up and back. I took lots of pretty pictures, and I've been wanting to share, but my version of iPhoto has been behaving a little more dramatically than usual as of late, and I just haven't had the time to feed it some cookies, and rub its belly, and find out what the problem is. But let me tell you...when I do...Touche Vogue!

Thirdly, I'm going on a baby-vacay this weekend and I can't FREAKIN' wait! The fact that I have been juggling multiple projects at work, along with applying for a new position, along with trying to do my regular work, along with trying to, I don't know, HAVE A LIFE -- has caused me to feel a bit overextended. So I am delighted that Monday is Garrett's birthday, and we are taking a long weekend and heading up to the north coast. It is a trip with multiple agendas, but first and foremost we are just getting the heck outta dodge and celebrating! The second agenda is a bit of a sightseeing, nostalgic, somewhat emotional family history tour that I'm really excited to be sharing with Garrett. Alot of my dad's side of the family hails from (and still resides) up in Humboldt County, and last year, the whole gang took a trip up there for a little reunion or sorts. We stayed in Eureka, and enjoyed the town and saw the houses our family members lived in. We dined down by Woodley Island and enjoyed incredible seafood on Humboldt Bay. We hung out in Arcata, saw the Humboldt State campus, and just kind of played tourist a bit. We then revisited the adorable town of Samoa, where my Grandmother grew up, and learned a bit about its history, and her life while living there. Samoa is an incredibly tiny town that was basically established by the Hammond Lumber Company, and just about everyone living there at the time had something to do with it. Such a different time! We got to check out the Mansion (yes, there is only one), the Women's Club, the adorable tiny houses where she lived and where my dad's family lived for a brief time before migrating down to the bay area where most of us kids grew up, and of course, knowing my family, we hit up the Samoa Cookhouse. In the end we headed out to the dunes, to really complete the trip, and that experience was by far the best part. We had gathered as a family to finally lay my grandmother and my father to rest. We scattered their ashes together in a place that was really meaningful to both of them, and now even more meaningful to all of us. It was a really emotional experience, and ever since I have really wanted to take Garrett there and share that part of my life and history with him.

Oh, don't seem so depressed! The family and I also did a lot of other super fun things in the neighboring area of Trinidad (where Garrett and I are actually going to be staying), Patrick's Point, and hit up some breweries and of course another old stomping ground that I also plan to show Garrett. My whole family used to take an annual camping trip up to Richardson's Grove State Park where we would have some crazy good times that I know Garrett is probably tired of hearing about, so I am finally going to get to show him the gigantic redwoods of my childhood, the Old Eel River, and of course dispel the myth of "Elmer!" I truly can't wait, it is going to be such a great trip! And I promise, I will bring home enough milk and cookies to talk some sense into my iPhoto so I can share the good times.

Yay!

Word Nerd

I want this shirt sooooooooooo bad it hurts.

Breakfast of Champions

Kurt Vonnegut died on Wednesday, and I have to say I'm always sad when I hear about someone famous dying. Not that famous people are any different than any of us regular people, but there is something incredibly humanizing about death. It's the great equalizer, right?? Even the rich, fabulous, and influential can't beat it. Being that I was an English major, I know you probably think I'm going to wax about my love for his novels and essays and how he shaped my literary life, but if we're being totally honest here -- and I like to think we are -- I haven't read too much Vonnegut in my lifetime, so writing my imagined literary memories would be a wee bit poseur, so I will spare you. In my defense though, damnit, he gets compared to Mark Twain alot and I have read waaaaaaaaaaaaay too much Twain, so there! I'm not a failure.

But anyway, it appears that my Vonnegut memories [and this will be a total shocker] are much more pop culture related. Do you remember that wacky Baz Luhrmann song Everybody's Free (to wear sunscreen)? Well according to Wikipedia, long before that song became a part of that craptacular collection of music that we all call "the late 90's", it was widely rumored that the lyrics of this song were actuall a commencement speech that Kurt Vonnegut gave at MIT. As it turns out, however, this claim was somewhat erroneous. It was actually written by a woman named Mary Schmich who wrote for the Chicago Tribune, and it wasn't an MIT speech after all but rather her June 1997 column that contained the humorous yet insightful advice. You can read it here but thanks to our good friend Mr. Luhrmann, this will all probably seem familiar.

So all of this death, confusion, and advisement got me thinking about Schmich's advice. Or rather, about what my own advice would be, had I been in Schmich's position. What have I learned over the years, and what do I wish I could have told a younger version of myself. What do I know now that I wish I knew then? It has been wonderful food for thought.

More to come...

Yoga PSA

So last weekend I started up doing hot yoga again, and I forgot how fabulous it is! I know it sounds sort of counterintuitive to put yourself in a room that is over 100 degrees and exercise, but SERIOUSLY once you are done it all makes so much sense. I took Garrett with me as well, and it was not only his first time doing Bikram, but his first time doing any yoga. He really enjoyed it, and said he hadn't felt that worked since double days in high school, which I thought was definitely a testament to its cardiovascular nature. It's a ton of fun and I recommend it highly. Even though you are so sweaty that it's disgusting, I can't think of a better way to enjoy a few nights a week. I went back on Tuesday and even though I didn't show up quite as hydrated as I should have been (which by the way is CLUTCH if you are going to spend 90 minutes perspiring) it still felt great when I finished.

It's a nice reminder that exercise really does kick ass --- if you can just drag yours there in the first place! :)

GOOd things come to those who wait...

So it's been awhile...you are so patient...welcome back!

After that last entry, I kind of got into that rut where I felt like if I was going to post I'd have to really "say something" but instead I solved this problem by just reminding myself that I created a category called "minutiae". I had forgotten about it, and man, that just took the pressure right off. Whew! that was close.

So here goes my really riveting story...

I took the garbage out the other day --- wait for it, I promise it gets better --- and when I opened the dumpster lid, I was greeted by an incredibly large an oddly shaped box. My curiosity was indeed piqued, but since I don't normally count dumpster diving as one of my hobbies, well at least not sober, I sure wasn't about to go near it. I basically do every possible thing to NOT interact with the trash already inside the dumpster; however, in this instance I was actually tempted because I really, really wanted to know what could have possibly been in there. After all it was such a large box, capapble of holding any number of large contraptions, and it was clearly addressed to one of my neighbors. What, oh what, could have been housed in this mysterious cardboard?

So I did what I learned once on this really informative episode of CSI: Miami. You know, the one where David Caruso wasn't overacting, and wasn't saying some stupid phrase that rhymed while simultaneously squinting at the camera, and they actually caught and took down all the scary looking members of the Mala Noche gang and by using that tactic where they...oh wait, that NEVER HAPPENS (note to CSI: Miami, hook us up with some new plot lines) but anyway, I digress...So, I did what any normal, nosy neighbor would do and I looked at the return address label. This giant, contraption holding box had come from none other than GoodGoth.com. Hmmmmmmmmmm...visions of black leather contraptions and embellished coffins were dancing in my head and thus I promptly shut the dumpster, giggled to myself, and walked back to my apartment staring suspiciously at all my neighbor's bedroom windows shaking my head. But then, unfortunately, I promptly forgot about it.

Until Today.

So I was having the most efficient morning ever, when I overheard someone discussing cardboard boxes outside my cubicle, and I was suddenly transported back to that dumpster (I can smell it now, ah!) and my friends over at GoodGoth. So against my better judgment, but of course with a full 360 degree inspection outside my cubicle just to make sure if I all of a sudden pulled up something NSFW I wouldn't get totally busted...I typed the website into my browser. Up came a somehwat disappointing website selling odd goth paraphernilia, and nothing that screamed "I come in an oddly shaped box". The website itself appeared tame in content, however, it was kinda of dark and scary in a very purposeful way, and looks like a good site to bookmark for all those times when the Marilyn Manson website is down, or perhaps your mom won't drop you off at the mall even though Hot Topic is having a sale, if you know what I'm saying.

Well being the ::ahem:: "professional" that I am, I shut that down quick so that no one would walk by and think that I was counting the minutes until I could drive myself over to that wicked Hot Topic sale -- but I failed to realize that this silly, silly URL would be burned into my silly, silly web browser's memory, and so now everytime I try and go to GOOGLE (which by the way I use ALL. DAY. LONG. EVERYDAY.) by typing in "www.g-o-o" and hitting enter (since that used to bring up the site everytime) I end up back at effing goodgoth -- and I'm sure I've gotten a few raised eyebrows today. And I don't know how to make it stop!

I hate being computer retarded.

Love is All Around

One of my favorite stories I remember hearing while growing up is how my parents began dating. They were both Freshmen in high school and my mom was a letter girl and my dad played football. I know this story starts out so All American you want to be sick now but fret not, the mob tactics and bribery come later.

At the high school they both attended in Fremont, it was only the seniors who got lockers on the patio. This was the place to be apparently, and both my parents had older sisters who were seniors. My dad was lucky enough to have a sister who was willing to share her locker with him, and it was conveniently located right next to my mom's older sister Yvonne. At this point, according to my father side of the story, he was already a smitten kitten. He had spied my mom painting some football poster in the hallways one day and basically instantly fell in love with her and her "long, luxurious hair". Yes those were his words, and no he was not raised by parents who wrote romance novels or scripts for shampoo commercials. In his infinite quest to get my mom to go out with him, my dad offered to buy his sister Martha a new skirt if she would put in a good word for him with Yvonne. Apparently the fact that my dad told Yvonne daily, "You know your locker doesn't lock" hadn't gotten him very far. Go Figure.

When I ask my mom about it, she's not even sure Martha ever did put in a good word with Yvonne, or if she did, whether Yvonne ever passed on that good word. What she distinctly remembers is all his junior high friends (aw...junior high...they were such babies!) used to come up to her with newspaper clippings about him and his football prowess. Apparently everyone was trying to mack on my mom on my dad's behalf. He was working all angles. Now, whether my dad had orchestrated this or not is still debatable, but for my mom who views humility (and vaccuum lines on carpet) right up there next to Godliness, this was not doing the trick. But something about the whole sitaution did strike my mom. I mean, it must have, right? They dated for the next 8 years -- through high school, when my dad went to college in New Mexico, when he transferred to college in Hawaii. Through everything. When he was drafted to the Detroit Lions in 1976 and another big move was on the horizon, they finally decided to get hitched. To this day, even though my dad passed away in 1999, he is still the love of my mom's life.

"So what the heck was it?" I asked her this afternoon, "What made you finally go out with dad?" And do you know what her answer was? What it was that made my mom love him to begin with, and love him to this day:

"He was relentless."

Relentless.

That's it. I'm sure in the end it helped that it wasn't like creepy-stalker- weirdo relentless, and that he actually called her and was actually nice to her -- but on a day like today, when candied "I Love You's", predictable floral arrangements, and dinner reservations abound - I am reminded of how much better real love is. Love that cannot be expressed by Hallmark. As far as I'm concerned very few relationships hold a candle to the kind of love my parents had. It's funny, because looking back, none of those material love-markers were really around when I was growing up. My dad was never the big romancer guy. I mean he was big, and a guy, but that's really where the similarities end. He rarely brought home flowers, my mother was never dripping in jewels representing birthdays past, and if there was chocolate around it was more likely that my mom had baked something delicious than my dad stopping to pick up some sweets for his sweet. But as a child even, I never had any doubt that my parents loved each other. Because none of those things are what love is about.

I think that when it came to my mom, there was nothing that my dad wouldn't do for her, and I know for a fact that the feeling was mutual on my mom's end. That's just the kind of people they were. To me, to everyone, but especially to each other. When it comes to really loving someone, I think both parties in any relationship would agree there is really only one thing you ever want your significant other to do for you. And its not bring you flowers, or buy you diamonds. It's not buy a stuffed animal, or pay for an expensive dinner. Those things are nice, but they sure don't make you feel comforted. It's about being relentless. It's about knowing that the list of things you would do for that person begins and ends with 'anything'.

13 Questions any junior high gal would ask...

I've had a long day at work and I've been saving this little 13 question douchebag myspace style game to play with your iPOD until exactly the right headspace. The instructions say to hit the shuffle and answer the next 13 questions...so I did. Some were HYSTERICAL:


1. What do you think of me, little iPod?
Paranoid Android, Radiohead

yeah, well who asked you???

2. Will I have a happy life?
To Live and Die in LA, 2Pac

Hmm...I did live in LA. Does that mean I will die there, or perhaps in a Vegas shoot out?

3. What do my friends really think of me?
It's Not Up to You, Bjork

How the heck do you know its not up to me?

4. What does my significant other think of me?
Nothing Wrong, Jimmy Eat World

HA! I'm happy to see that one, and its ironic knowing how Garrett feels about Jimmy Eat World...

5. Do people secretly lust after me?
Gone, Jack Johnson

ahem, clearly my iPod doesn't know that I've STILL got IT. Maybe it just didn't get the memo.

6. How can I make myself happy?
Miner's Prayer, Dwight Yoakam

I have Dwight Yoakam on my iPod?

7. What should I do with my life?
Just, Radiohead

Just? Just what, Radiohead?

8. Why must life be so full of pain?
Merry Muthafuckin' Christmas, Easy-E

...uh, and a happy new year?

9. How can I maximize my pleasure during sex?
Sulk, Radiohead

I'm not kidding. I don't think this will work, actually.

10. Can you give me some advice?
Touch the Sky, Kaney West

Thanks, bro.

11. What do you think happiness is?
You Be Illin', Run DMC

Me and ill of any sort does not equal happiness.

12. Do you have any advice to give over the next few hours/days?
Let Me Kiss You, Morrissey

"There's a place in the sun for anyone who has a will..." Aw, I like that song

13. Will I die happy?
It's a Hit, Rilo Kiley

Yes or No, iPod. Yes. Or. No.

I'm really glad there was no #14, since the fourteenth song was Bombs Over Baghdad, by Outkast. Hmm...anyway, I don't feel any more enlightened, although now my penchant for nerdy surveys/tests is on display so everyone can see. Awesome.

If you ask me...that's a bargain!

At $2,119,600.00 it looks like selling my soul really will be the quickest and most efficient way to pay off my student loans and buy a home in California.

How much are you worth?

If I ran PETA...

I'm really not sure what purpose Paris Hilton serves on this planet besides being a constant emaciated reminder of what entitlement would look like if personified. I'm sure she's a very nice girl and all, but she doesn't do very much and is filthy rich and frankly that bugs me. If I were more zen and stuff I probably wouldn't care, but I'm just not, and besides if I were more zen and stuff I probably wouldn't have much to write about, and what fun would that be? Anyway, confessions aside, when Paris had flour thrown on her by PETA for attending a fashion show where fur was being used, I have to admit I found it somewhat humorous.

Today at work I started thinking a little deeper about it though (I mean I deserved a break from all the deep thinking I've been doing about Anna Nicole right?) and I came to the conclusion that this flour throwing stunt really wasn't that efficient. Actually, I'm ready to say that PETA's haterade tactics are generally not that efficient -- and boy I should know because I am a connosieur of the haterade. You see, I'm an underwriter for an insurance company by trade and I spend the bulk of my day looking at specific qualities of companies who desire insurance in an effort to determine their potential risk factors. It's not really rocket science, I mean its pretty well documented that certain traits tend to yield certain results. For example people with bad credit scores have more of a tendency not to pay things than people with good credit scores, and people who leave expensive things in places where there are no security measures in place tend to get robbed more often than people who keep their bling under lock and key, ya dig? All of this takes extensive training I assure you, but I won't bore you with the details. Basically on a regular basis I decide whether providing property/liability insurance for a certain business is going to be a good investment for my employer. And for the most part it's actually a pretty rad job, but the one uncontrollable side effect is that its turned me into kind of a hater.

See it's a total NERD-ALERT occupational hazard now, that when I'm on the premises of a business I am unconsciously determining exposures to loss in my head. I walk down to my local Safeway, and the cracks in the parking lot make "SLIP AND FALL HAZARD" appear in my head in neon lights. I pass quaint lofts above neighborhood bistros and I think "ALERT ALERT - life safety issues for all tenants. What happens when that kitchen catches on fire??? YOU DIE!" You get the picture - I just have a hard time turning that off. So what does all this have to do with PETA, you wonder? Ah, what a tangential train of thought this brain weaves...allow me to explain.

So on my way back to work from lunch today I passed the Planned Parenthood building off of Biz 80, and thought smugly to myself as I usually do, "ha ha! we would NEVER insure that!" Who wants to insure the building of any location that people like to bomb? Not I said the fly- er...rather, said the company I work for. And for some reason this made me think of the aforementioned surprise attack PETA made on Paris, and how even though this got so much publicity, did it really deter Paris from wearing fur? Um, no more than it detered her from being a vapid, orange waste of space, methinks.

So then I thought, why doesn't PETA ever head on down to their local Black Angus or Ruth's Chris and flour up all of their patrons in their pretty suburban-nite-out outfits? I mean doesn't that make more sense? Haven't you seen those Ruby-Tuesday commercials? They use 3 kinds of steak in their burgers!!!! It's called efficiency, people! If your fighting for the humane treatment of animals, why don't you start with carnivores? I mean sure Paris probably shows up here and there in a fur coat, but I mean all you have to do to remedy that is call up Anna Wintour and tell her the next big trend is Hefty bag dresses...and then the whole world will see Paris in the couture that she was really born to wear. I mean I may never insure another steakhouse again, but c'mon, Paris Hilton in a trash bag? Wouldn't that just make the world an infinitely better place? C'mon PETA, get rid of the flour and get on the bus!

Where I've Been, What I've Been Up To

As there has been somewhat of a hiatus in my posting, I feel it only fair to update you, my fair readers (all 3 of you), with all of the wacky and wonderful things that have been going on in my life over the past few weeks. I have been very very busy doing the following:

1. Breathing - it's exhausting really, and I've been required lately to do it all day, everyday!

2. Still hating Crocs - Now I do love me some Mario Batali (and the fact that he wears a fluorescent orange pair every week on Iron Chef America doesn't make me hate him, but instead gives me hope that he too realizes that they really are just a big joke and is just being ironic, which would officially make him the coolest guy ever) but I just cannot for the life of me understand the appeal of this horrific, horrific footwear. Why do normal members of the shoebuying population buy these? Don't you remember Tevas???? It is a slippery slope people! They're just hideous, and lately plotting how to fight that evil has been consuming me.

3. Spilling coffee on myself - This morning I got up totally late. Not for any rational reason either, solely because Garrett has a comfy new bed and he is most definitely cuter and warmer than my cubicle (empirical data to follow). I decided to just keep hitting snooze, knowing full well that I had to go home and iron - a task that I dread always, but especially in the morning. When I got home I tore through my closet trying to find something acceptable to wear to work, hating everything I own, feeling like I have no clothes, and pondering where in the hell in Genesis it says that if you eat fruit from the tree of knowledge you will get cellulite, assuming of course Taco Bell is that fruit. You see, I am very busy Now after all that thinking (pre-caffeine by the way) I finally picked out an outfit, ironed it, and got on the road to Peet's to grab my daily cup o' joe. I just realized I hate that expression. Note to self: delete 'cup o' joe' from vocabulary. Anyway, in and out in a second, I was back on the road and on my way to work at about 7:45. Miraculous, I know -- I'm just good like that. But after all that crazy efficiency, I take my first sip of much needed coffee, and the lid immediately comes off and it proceeds to POUR all down my white shirt, as well as dripping all over the pants I just ironed. Totally unsalvagable. So yeah, I had to go back home and start that whole process over again. It totally rocked.

4. Feeling Fat - see above.

5. Being annoyed at Banana Republic - Since when did Banana Republic start thinking they were Coach? I did a little online shopping this morning, and being the rule follower I am, I looked only for shoes and/or accessories. Now repeat after me - "No shopping for pants when I feel fat." Great, glad we got that cleared up. So I was looking at the purse page, and of course there were some cute selections, but every single one was like $248 OR MORE! Um...I don't see little 'C' logos decorating the outside, I don't see the D&Bs, or the LVs. The green and red Gucci stripe was noticeably absent...so what's with the inflated prices? I'm sure it's probably lovely leather treated by the hands of small children from other countries and all, just as we have grown accustomed with those pricier brands, but I'm pretty sure the label inside still says Banana Republic, which is still affiliated with Gap, which is still affiliated with Old Navy, which means YOU CAN'T CHARGE $300 FOR PURSES!!!!! You just can't. I'm sorry, those are the rules.

6. Watching Bad Movies - So against my better judgment I rented the dvd The Guardian with Kevin Costner and Ashton Kutcher this past week. It goes something like this. Young cocky dude tries to join Coast Guard because he swims real well and owns a pair of gold rimmed aviator sunglasses. Old cocky teacher dude who just experienced tragedy in the field, only to come home and have his wife leave him, gives young cocky dude crap because he sees a little bit of his inner child in young cocky dude and it touches him inside his shell of armed services seriousness. Deep inside. Deep inside that place men don't like to talk about. There is lots of yelling. There is tender man-emotion. There are swimming drills, beer drinking, bar fights, arguable homosexual undertones. Then young Cocky dude meets a girl. More tender man-emotion. Yada Yada. Ashton's secret comes out. There's some tattoos. And the Bering Sea. It's very all very crafty. And then comes the ending-- which by the way I'm not going to talk about it in case the riveting teaser above has convinced you to make tonight a Blockbuster night-- but I will tell you that I could see it from a mile away, but when it happened, I still bawled like a baby. Just like that. Manipulated by Hollywood. I hate when that happens.

So you see dear reader(s), I have been very overwhelmed with this schedule of demanding tasks and gala events, and thus have given very little time to writing over the past month. I've just checked my calendar, however, and although in the coming weeks my schedule is full of blinking, sleeping, working, watching bad reality television, and probably still breathing, I'm thinking I will be able to get some writing in. So we'll see what happens.

Punctuation Nerds, UNITE!

Ever since I rejected the cliched Dilbert calendar and purchased my Eats, Shoots & Leaves desk calendar for my cubicle, I have been treated to daily dose of commentary on punctuation. Yep, I pretty much love it! Here is today's entry in riddle form, which I was just tickled by:

Every Lady in this Land
Hath 20 Nails on each Hand;
Five & Twenty on Hands and Feet;
And this is true, without deceit.

(Every lady in this land has twenty nails. On each hand, five; and twenty on hands and feet.)

xo,
Your nerdliness

No More Cheezy Poofs!

Garrett's parents are in town for about 3 weeks, and I was pretty excited to have a little "me time". For some reason that statement gives me visions of recent Britney Spears photos and smacks a little too much of self-help books (which kind of makes me wanna puke in my mouth a little) but I assure you I was just looking forward to concentrating on the minutiae of my daily life that I often put off because when presented with the 2 options, Garrett is ALWAYS more fun to hang out with.

I found that my first response to having some extra time to myself was to resort to my secret single girl style of grocery shopping. A couple days after his parents arrived I found myself at Trader Joe's with a cart full of single serving frozen foods, boxes of ready made pasta dishes, things I would never buy if I knew Garrett would be coming over (hello, garlic fries!), and of course a bunch of crappy junk food that I planned to use only to assuage my sorrows on the nights I would be forced to watch TV alone with a cold spot beside me on the couch where a certain someone usually sits (read: dunkers, won ton chips, mini peanut butter cups, and veggie chips...ugh!) You shut up! I can hear me getting fatter too and I don't need your judgmental glares exacerbating the situation. I thought it was AWESOME planning.

Yeah, so it turns out not so much. You see, said trip to Trader Joe's set me
back well over $50 and 3 days later with the prospect of having Garrett come over for actual dinner, I was forced into the realization that I had no actual food. Nothing to prepare, nothing to turn into a meal, and nothing to be the least bit healthy and/or nourishing (unless of course your kind of nourishing involves chips named after vegetables, containing no actual vegetables, and for the record, mine does not). I prefer to actually have tasty vegetables and a nice selection of meat and poultry at my fingertips, so it should be no surprise that I was thus, disappointed and in somewhat of a state of panic.

Thinking about what I had in the fridge, and imagining what economical things I could purchase to make a normal meal meant that I would ultimately have to go to Safeway and get MORE groceries! Are you kidding??? I thought I spent more money shopping for food for two, but clearly when I plan to eat for one (or more appropriately when I eat for lonely) but that's clearly not the case. The upside was when I realized that I could probably cook Garrett anything and he would eat it, and that made me feel somewhat relieved. I love that my boy has an appetite, because there is really nothing I relish more than cooking up a feast, though I must admit I wish he wouldn't tell me that everything I make tastes great, because I know this can't possibly be the case. Exhibit A - the dinner I cooked last night. YUCK! Bobby Flay I am not, and unfortunately I can still taste the combo of mint, cilantro, and vinegar that went horribly wrong. OH GOD AND PEAS! There were peas, too. VOMIT! It was just so bad. Although who am I kidding, it's incredibly endearing that most of the time (I hope) he is probably telling the truth with these wily compliments of his, and if he's not, well then I say --nice job going back for seconds, babe. It really lends authenticity to this little vignette you are performing for me where I make wretched food and you pretend to like it so as to not hurt my feelings. You know I love you for that, right? But, I digress. Basically all this thinking about singles versus couples and their food choices made me contemplate how my relationship has definitely affected the evolution of my cooking skills.

You see, I basically spent a good portion of my life knowing only how to boil water. And not in that cute way that Tyler Florence and that spritely blonde chick do it on the Food Network. You know that show called, aptly, "HOW TO BOIL WATER" where in the end it never fails that they come up with like an entire beef roast with the appropriate accoutrement, and then serve up some fruity cream cheese tart for dessert? Yeah, my water boiling days were nothing like that. Anyway, for most of my life cooking was never this ultimate skill that I wanted to perfect. I swear to you I only began to learn out of necessity, and even then I rarely practiced it because we all know how depressing "Cooking for One" is, so living that lifestyle was never too high on my list of priorities. By the way, in my poor mother's defense, this was not for her lack of trying, as growing up she was constantly trying to teach me these skills in sustenance that I would surely need to know, and as usual, my stubborn self just turned my nose up, and I therefore remained culinarily challenged for many many years. It wasn't until 2002 that I finally had a come-to-jesus moment with a box of Pasta-Roni, and I don't really think things have been the same since. I'm not saying I haven't consumed boxed pasta since then(see above story about Trader Joe's), I'm just saying it is no longer a part of my regular kitchen rotation.

I have to admit though, that for many years I think that I felt that cooking was sort of this anti-feminist skill acquision. Girls I knew who liked to cook were the same girls who fantasized about what their wedding dresses were going to look like or what they were going to name their children when they were born. I have never been that girl. Frankly, if I ever do get married, I fantasize about eloping in a pair of sweat pants from the GAP and a hoodie that doesn't make me look fat somewhere where corking fees don't exist and red wine comes out of a fountain right next to the Mikuni dispenser, but that's neither here nor there. The point is, I never took the time to learn to cook, because it has always screamed of feminine oppression. I feared that having this skill-set would mean I was stuck constantly taking care of other people's needs, and then on top of it(eek) HAVING TO DO THE DISHES! The thought of myself barefoot in the kitchen was enough to make me want to eat freeze dried foods out of pods for the rest of my life...without using filtered water!!!!!

Somewhere along the line, however, I realized that cooking a nice meal, was a nice thing to know how to do. I always liked having friends over and it seemed to only get better if I could have them over AND we could eat. I know, SHOCKER! I also realized that cooking appeals to that part of my brain that loves a challenge, and what could be better than achieving your goal -- and then getting to eat it? Not much, I tell you. NOT. MUCH. It's ridiculously satisfying, really, even when you have to touch slimy ligaments and bones. And above and beyond even that - how great is it to be able to make yourself anything you could possibly want, regardless of time and place. Eggs and potatoes at midnight is pretty empowering. Not the least bit oppressive as I once thought. Oh how I mourn those years -- all that pasta and foods from a box. I shudder...

When Garrett and I began mealing together, it just got even better. Cooking for him is something I LOVE doing. Not only because of his appetite, adventurous spirit when it comes to food, or his complimentary phrases (ok so it might be for the phrases), but because for the first time in my life I feel kind of nurturing. I haven't spent my whole life having those traditional girl-thoughts about motherhood, nesting, or being a wife, but that doesn't mean I don't have the desire to care for someone else and provide for them something that is tangible and full of love. Cooking for him (and with him, since I've said time and time again that he is the best sous chef in town) has allowed me to express that little nurturing voice that I do actually have inside me, and for a long time I hadn't really had another person so deserving of my nurturing. Now that I think about it, it's kind of nice, actually.

And besides, most of the time (HALLELUJAH!) he does the dishes.

Next on my Reading List

Well isn't he a jack of all trades . Who knew???

Miami Vice: Very Official Movie Review

Oh my god, so this blockbuster.com thing rocks my world. I love this free trial thingy, cuz I'm watching movies like a mad woman and when they are crappy I don't even feel bad because I'm not paying for them. Big ups to my cousin Jim for the clue-in on what a mega scam this is. Speaking of terrible movies (and by terrible I mean TOTALLY AWESOME)...I watched Miami Vice last night. Well, most of it. Have you seen it? The dialog is PHENOMENAL.

Here is my favorite scene (to give you some context, this scene happened right before Colin Farrel muttered, "If they didn't do time with us, they ain't doin crime with us") I took the liberty of copying this snippet from IMDB for your reading pleasure. I think it really sums up how intelligent this movie is

Det. Ricardo Tubbs: [Crockett is holding a live hand grenade] I'm gonna tell you what's gonna happen. People are gonna come in here, and you know what they gonna say? They gonna look around and go 'Oh ah, hell. That's some crazy motherfucking wallpaper, what is that? Jackson Pollock?'

Det. James 'Sonny' Crockett: No, viero. That was José Yero. Got splattered all over his own wall

Nice use of popular culture art references to put the fear of god into a druglord (Jose Yero), dontcha think? (yes, please note that does say Crockett is holding a live hand grednade), but it sure does also show their softer more intelligent side for all the ladies watching. To say "look at me ladies, I know art". Date movie anyone????

I'm also now quite sure that I totally understand the mechanices of a Ferrari's paddle shift since I saw close ups of it like 5 times with the Miami skyline behind it. I felt like I was in a Sisqo video a couple times, and really how often can you say that a movie transcends art forms like that??? Not too often, I bet. On top of all that, there were some interspersed soapy tits with really great synthesized music in the background. Now that's quality. I also enjoyed this line:

José Yero: I like you. You are tough. But I didn't like your partner. [shows Det.James Crockett]

Det. Ricardo Tubbs: Do you wanna fuck my partner, or do business with us?

I mean...hello??? You tell em Jamie Foxx (with 2 X's) WORD!!! (Although frankly I don't really prefer Colin Farrell with a semi-bleached blond mullett either...so I feel Yero on that one)

I would recommend this movie to others.

I resolve to be resolute

So I have decided to make a New Year's Resolution. I'm not necessarily anti-resolution, I just don't generally don't make them specific to the beginning of the year because I'm pretty much a fan of setting goals all year round. This year, however, in an effort to make my progress more measurable -- resolution -- I plan thee.

Obviously I have long been a lover of books, otherwise I wouldn't have gotten my degree in English, and it is one of those passions I just can't shake. I love to read books, read about books, read about people who read books -- I'm sure it's unhealthy, really. But since I graduated, I have been less committed to my reading than in the past, and that totally bums me out.

For three years in a row (2000-2002), I resolved to read a certain number of books. First 30, then 35, then 40. Not only did I achieve those goals, but I recorded their titles, authors, and my general opinion or interesting thoughts I had on each. It was fun to look back and see what I read, or how my life was influenced during those specific times. Then I went back to school. Obviously in college I wasn't doing a bunch of "reading for pleasure" per se, although clearly what I read was pleasurable to me. And logically, immediately after I graduated, all I wanted to read was brain candy. I can't tell you how many books with hot pink covers I devoured like bon bons on a sunny afternoon. It was wonderfully sinful, but then I slowly realized that I needed to actually challenge my brain a little bit for fear of the "use it or lose it" philosophy on life to which I wholeheartedly subscribe. Last year I adopted an "every other" rule to my hot pink reading; however, I still found myself consuming less than nutritious literature. I mean I even purchased, completed, and file away on my bookshelf a "novel" by James Patterson...and counted it as "non-hot-pink". Yes, let's all just have a moment of silence.

Another disappointment was that I picked up and put down more books than I completed. Now I'm not one to condemn putting down a book that you are just not interested in. Sometimes we just don't click with books, or sometimes we just don't want to work to read (though I think working to read can be enjoyable) and that is just fine. But this past year I definitely just got lazy. I'd pick up a book, and halfway through it just put it down -- Books I enjoyed -- Books I was intrigued by. And for no good reason.

Anyway, with that I have "resolved" to recommit to my reading, and I think the beginning of a new year is a perfect time to make that goal. Not in a crazy marathon training kind of way, but with the following goals in mind:

1. Read more regularly.
I always love "having a good book." Whether I am reading every night before bed, or whether I am stealing moments here and there to get in a few pages, or whether I am spending an entire Saturday afternoon involved in a totally fictitious environment, I am going to make a marked effort to always have that available to me by making sure I am always actively engaged with at least one book.

2. Pick up a few of my abandoned books.
I can think of at least 3 books that I picked up and put down last year that I'm still dying to finish up. I'm determined to find out how they end, as surrounding myself with this lack of resolution is horrid! I have a wealth of books sitting on my bookshelf that I was interested in once, and I hereby commit to being interested in again. I'm going to be all about the finish this time.

3. Get back to the library.
I can honestly say I think I fell in love with Garrett a little bit when he first
shared with me his utter displeasure the day the Carmichael library closed for its renovation/remodel. I LOVE THE LIBRARY! And finding a partner who appreciates this is fabulous! Besides at the rate I purchase and store books I don't read, it is probably good that I start doing some borrowing otherwise I might need to rent a small storage space for my unread books. And what better way to keep it "timebound". See...keeping the end in mind.

4. Aim Low.
Ok not really. What I mean is that I could probably aim for 40 or 50 books this year, but in an effort to make my goals realistic and attainable I am resolving to FINISH 30 books this year, and keep an active record of it. I miss doing that! So I'm going to, damnit! Besides, if nothing else, maybe it will give me something more interesting to talk about here than the minutiae of my life, my recipes, and my horrible tv watching habits.

HAPPY NEW YEAR.

2006: A Retrospective

What did you do in 2006 that you'd never done before?
Began a job as an underwriter

Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I did set some goals this year that I acheived, and I will definitely be doing that again this year. I'll share some shortly.

Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes, my good friend Angela from childhood. How weird is that? We've known each other since WE were practically babies. Oddly enough though, it just seemed right. And what a cutie is Garrison!

Did anyone close to you die?
Yes.

What countries did you visit?
No countries -- although I did get to visit the great state of Iowa for 12 whole days, and frankly it felt like another country at times!

What would you like to have more of in 2007 that you lacked in 2006?
Routine. God, am I so boring??? Don't answer that.

What dates from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
November 17th -- it was my first anniversary with Garrett...and I sure do like that boy.

What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Starting over at a new job and being successful at it. Previously I had spent 6 1/2 years at Peet's so it had been a long time since I had to acclimate to a new work environment.

What was your biggest failure?
For the first time in my adult life, staying in good health -- and boy was that scary!

Did you suffer illness or injury?
Two odd illnesses never before encountered -- in May I had migraines for 10 days. It was my own personal apocolypse. I also had a gnarly kidney infection in September that made me realize how grateful I am for those cute little organs when they work in a pain-free manner.

What was the best thing you bought?
Suits. How great is it to be able to wear nice clothes to work???

Where did most of your money go?
Debt. BOO!

What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Grey's Anatomy. And that, my friends, is how you know I am exceptionally lame :)

What song will always remind you of 2006?
I am ashamed to admit this, but I think it will be anything by E-40

Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Happier. I have a great job, time invested in a wonderful relationship, I'm more on track financially, and I had some really fun experiences.
b) thinner or fatter? Wow...I'm TOTALLY fatter. Awesome. I was just deducing this while getting dressed this morning and noting that all my pants have mysteriously become shorter...or, perhaps, have I become wider?? hmmm.
c) richer or poorer? Richer. Please note, however, that this is probably the only time you will hear me using the word "richer" in reference to myself.

What do you wish you'd done more of?
Keeping myself physically healthier (ie: stressing less, exercising more)

What do you wish you'd done less of?
Getting all wound up! I realized this year -- in a somewhat epiphanous manner -- that I create stress in my life just to feel the release that the acheivement brings. I know, I'm wily like that

Did you fall in love in 2006?
Yes (Cue the sappy music)

What was your favorite TV program?
Barefoot Contessa, Project Runway, Grey's Anatomy

What was the best book you read?
How sad, I can't even remember.

What was your greatest musical discovery?
Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins' Rabbit Fur Coat (and since I didn't actually procure that cd, I feel bad listing it as a "discovery" but I think since I discovered Rilo Kiley on my own I can at least take partial credit, yes?)

What did you want and get?
A feeling of contentment with my life. Really feeling comfortable with being a work in progress.

What did you want and not get?
A Le Crueset Dutch Oven. Trust me, I'll live. I'm content with my cookware being a work in progress as well.

What was your favorite film of this year?
I didn't see too many that moved me, although I have to say that the BBC version of Pride and Prejudice which I re-watched this year, still holds as one of my favorite movies EVER. Seeing the Kiera Knightley version was a bit of a disappointment.

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 28 this October, and I spent it eating the most delicious food at a restaurant called Latitudes with Garrett and seeing Little Miss Sunshine. Couldn't have been better.

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
It was satisfying.

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006?
How about things that don't make me look like a pregnant heiffer...It was very Paris 86.

What kept you sane?
Who says I've been sane?

Which celebrity/public figure did you enjoy the most?
All of them. I love celeb trash!

Who was the best new person you met?
How about people? I continue to enjoy all of my new coworkers that were in my training unit. I was pretty lucky!

What is a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006?
That patience really is a virtue, that with commitment just about anything can be accomplished, and that sometimes you just need to bite your tongue.

I Love a Full Moon

There's nothing better than coming in to work in an outfit you already hate, and spilling coffee down the front of you 42 minutes into your 8 hour day. I can't wait to see what the rest of the day holds...

Keepin' It Classy

Just in case there was any confusion about how classy my family and I are -- we spent Christmas Eve singing this in lieu of Christmas Carols...I mean hey -- it's Holiday themed!

Bring Back the Slam Book!!

God, remember slam books??? Ah, how I miss the simplicity of elementary school and the ability that a pink pen had to change the entire outlook of my day. Anyway, this post is pretty boring and self indulgent (HA! Which one isn't?) but it reminded me of elementary school slam books...

The ABCs

A - Available or Single? Um, those are not opposites. And I'm happily taken by the way. Wait, Taken is a dumb word. Let's just say I count my blessings everyday that I have Garrett. That's better.
B - Best friend? See Above
C - Cake or Pie? Oh god, CAKE! Carrot cake, white cake, chocolate cake...Yes please.
D - Drink of choice? Coffee in the morning, water always, Diet Coke/Diet Squirt if I need some carbonated refreshment, a tasty cab/gin and tonic after a long day.
E - Essential item you use every day? Lipgloss
F - What do you do for Fun? Cook, watch movies, go out on the town, see friends, read, write
G - Gummy bears or worms? Worms. huh. What an odd thing to have a preference about, but apparently I do. Who knew?
H - Hometown? Born in Rochester, Michigan but grew up in Fremont, CA
I - Indulgence? Going to bed on clean sheets after a hot bubble bath WITH shaved legs and a book so good I can't put it down
J - January or February? January...who doesn't love a fresh start?
K - Kids and Names? I'm sure I will think of some when I have some.
L - Life is incomplete without? love
M - Messy or Neat? It depends. If I lived alone, you could eat off my floor. But sharing space with other people, I am probably messier than I'd like to admit.
N - Number of Siblings? None...the lonely only
O - Oranges or Apples? I like the taste of oranges better (when they're good) but I like the instant gratification of apples more.
P - Phobia / Fears? Spiders sure do get the blood pumping
Q - Favorite Quote? Only those who risk going to far can possibly find out how far one can go --T.S Eliot
R - Reason to smile? My life is good, my family is healthy, my friends are awesome, and I'm totally in love. What's not to smile about?
S - Favorite Season? Autumn, hands down
T - Favorite time of day? Right when I wake up and everything is quiet
U - Unkown fact about me? I love watching infomercials
V - Vegetable you don't like? Um, I don't think there is one. Oh wait...I don't LOVE mushrooms
W - Worst habit? Being 100% unable to ever hold my tongue. I pretty much say what I think at all times. Sometimes it would behoove me to just sit on a thought for a while.
X - Xrays you've had? I have no clue. I haven't really been hospitalized that much and I've never broken a bone, so probably not many if any.
Y - Your favorite food? All of it.
Z - Zodiac sign? Libra

How to Annoy Me...A User's Guide

So I'm hoping that I'm out of the woods with this rummy haze I've been in
for the past two weeks. With some holiday extravaganzas happening and
a bout with a nasty cold that just refuses to go away, I've been waiting
patiently for some clarity of mind to return so I could post something
incredibly witty and useful, but I'm pretty sure that's not going to happen.
Frankly, I'm overly crabby. Though I've secretly always wanted to have a really bad cold just so I can test the medicinal acuity of only whiskey and sleep -- right now I am very over still being sick -- and when I'm feeling sorry for myself for being sick, everything starts pissing me off it seems.

For example:

1. Why do people mistake the word Bravado for Brave. Just because you
add an -ADO onto the end of a word, does not make it more fancy. It actually does what I like to call, CHANGES THE MEANING YOU IDIOT! And just because something almost sounds like something else...doesn't mean it is something else. Isn't this like one of those things we learned in Kindergarten?

2. Why do people assume when they have any kind of sore throat that they have strep throat? For the record, strep throat is a very specific virus, which you must be tested for to confirm. Just because you wake up in the morning and your throat hurts a little and it happens to be Winter, DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE STREP!!!!!! These are the same stupid people who think you get a cold from it "being" cold. Once again, I know they sound similar, but they are NOT THE SAME.

3. Piggy backing on that -- Attention people with headaches: just because
you are incredibly put out when your head hurts "really bad" does not mean you have a migraine. Migraines, as well, are a very specific type of headache. Unless you have a license to practice medicine or you ate a brain tumor for breakfast, I'm pretty sure you probably don't have one, and I'm definitely sure you can't diagnose it. So don't. There are lots of people to whom you can pay exorbitant amounts of money to do that for you...and there are even more people you can pay exorbitant amounts of money to create little pills you can take for it. And by "it", I mean the stupidity that's being cultivated in your brain that is clearly causing it to hurt!

4. Why does anyone in their right mind re-heat any sort of exceptionally
spicy, fishy, meaty (read: stinky) food in a confined space? Does that make any sense? Maybe fish head stew, or oxtail casserole, or plates of quivering beef taste good to you -- and that's fine. I'm very proud of you, and not knocking your taste in cuisine. But if the smell makes me want to vomit, then I'm pretty sure it might make a few other people want to vomit as well, and might I remind you, we are in a confined space, and vomiting is not what we're trying to do here, remember?

5. And while I'm at it -- Who hell carts their dogs around in a BABY STROLLER? Why is Paris Hilton famous? And why can't Britney cover up her lady parts?


Some days I think I just should have stayed in bed.

One's Trash is Another's Treasure

This book is totally following me around and it is kind of creepy! I feel like everywhere I go I keep hearing about it, seeing it, reading about it...It's like "Ok, Ok I'll read you already!" I definitely think the title is intriguing, and I am almost always up for an intellectual exchange about the differences in perceptions and opinions between men and women.

I finally broke down and headed to the author's website and the questions are intriguing. I mean where do we get our ideas on beauty, and why is a man's identity so fiercely intertwined in his career? I guess I'm interested in hearing what Darwin has to say about it through the lens of Michael Gilbert. Although I get slightly leery of books when the words "important" and "provocative" are stamped all over it.

Maybe this guy is a total douchebag...

Maybe Santa will bring it to me for Christmas...

Yes that's right, I can make just about anything selfish...

I think I spent the first 20 years of my life hating all seafood without ever even trying a bite. Some sort of domestic propaganda (or perhaps just my mother's distaste for it) convinced me that it was something that I needed to stay far far away from. Who are we kidding, I didn't cook for myself until college, so consequently "I don't eat anything that swims" used to be a mantra that I chanted with pride. But then one day the weirdest thing happened...I tried a little bite of one my good friend's sushi rolls, and realizing I could have my own opinions about food, I was totally hooked! I know, I know that was a sad sad pun! It was truly bizarre having spent my whole life thinking I didn't like something, only to discover it is one of the greatest and most diverse culinary delicacies EVER! It was kind of mindblowing to be honest. So after that experience I didn't just toy with enjoying your basic sushi rolls, I branched out to tasting other fish - cooked fish, shellfish, sashimi-- well really anything 'of the sea' at this point. Apparently I've spent the past 8 years making up for lost time.

I have to say though, there is a part of me that feels like my shunning fish in my youth caused me to miss out on many years of unadulterated enjoyment. I'm not weeping over fish sticks and tartar sauce in front of the Atari, or what could have been, I'm merely noting that in falling in love with seafood later in life means I am forced to acknowledge that there are health and environmental concerns associated with this type of cuisine and as an adult being oblivious just doesn't have the same kind of adorable quality. I know these concerns exist, and as someone who is grown, I feel I need to approach my consumption responsibly. Not that I am an excessive environmentalist, or exceptionally commited to purity and health, but I feel obligated to make myself aware of common perils and preventions associated with eating seafood, if for no other reason that to assuage my own fears and deter my own guilt.

With that being said I was hopscotching around on the net reading about this exact topic and came upon some relevant information about the lack of federal legislation concerning offshore aquaculture (don't even ask -- I don't even know where I ended up or how I got there -- all I know is our mainframe was down at work and I was bored). I also found some really useful checklists offering information about the farming of certain species of fish, as well as warnings about which fish are healthier options than others with respect to contaminats. (If I had been paying more attention at the time, I could have saved the link and put right here in this very riveting and informative post. damn it to heck!!) Anyway -- I was bummed to find out that many of the different types of tuna that I love so dearly, are endangered and probably shouldn't be cut up into spicy little pieces and consumed with a delectable bottle if Nigori sake (mmm...that just made my mouth water). I also learned that the sea bass I just consumed the other night at Moxie, though covered in a toasty and flavorful coating of macadamia nuts, was probably not the most ethical choice I could have made. Damn.

But you know what I did find out that just totally rocked my world??? A ton of shrimp is farmed in various unethical ways around the world! SCORE!!! Why does this rock my world, you ask? Because I HATE shrimp, and have spent countless years chastising my tastebuds for eschewing their nubby little texture and slimy flavorless taste. And now I feel quite holier-than-thou in that rejection (and it is a rare moment when I can say that). Now instead of passing up the shrimp tray at parties, and racking my brain for a witty excuse as to why I won't touch this commonly enjoyed dish -- I will just turn up my nose and say (in a mock British accent for effect, of course) "The unethical farming of these dear little creatures just absolutely revolts me...I couldn't possibly..." And then I will walk away feeling smug!

Please, you didn't think I was getting all political on you, did you???

Sometimes The World Is Just Against You

I enjoyed Taco Bell for the first time in ages today...and when I came home the Victoria's Secret fashion show was on. Moo.

For the Wordy Version, See Below

Waves crashing in San Simeon

How beautiful is the Central Coast?

Garrett and I at Lone Madrone

John, Gina, Jen, and Nick showing their 49er pride

The whole clan

Cutest 49er fans EVER!

Wine, Dine, and 49!

I know...I'm totally obnoxious! But I can't resist now that I finally joined computer literate society and know how to post pictures. I've had a rowdy couple of weekends and thought I would just post a few shots that really capture the fun!
Nov 10-12 Me, Garrett, Sarah, and Ebruvwiyo headed down the Central Coast to do some wine tasting. I hadn't been down to the area since I transferred from Cal Poly (what in like 1998) so it was nice to go back and reminisce. Ultimately I realized what a beautiful climate I had taken for granted! The weather was great, the scenery was awesome, I couldn't have asked for a better backdrop for a fun weekend of indulging. We stayed at Sarah's parents' house in San Miguel, and what wonderful hosts they were! I don't think we stopped eating from the time we got there until the time we left - with highlights being some tried and true biscuits and gravy, some wonderful tamales from the Templeton Farmer's Market, and a Sunday morning all-you-can-eat-hangover-cure Mexican breakfast buffet. Whoa! Their property was beautiful, nestled atop a vineyard covered hill, and full of wide open space - something I really miss living in a little downtown Sacramento apartment. The only downside was that all the dirt, pollen, and pet dander that comes with wonderful wide open spaces was in full effect that weekend, so you can guess that my allergies were acting up something fierce!

Saturday we headed out to the Farmer's Market and I had so much fun sampling all the delectable bits of local produce. The most exciting discovery was a little stand selling a Brazilian fruit called a feijoa. I thought they tasted like tart little kiwi fruits, but what was even more amazing was that Garrett has one of these trees growing on the side yard of his house. We have been painstakingly picking up this odd little fruit off the ground and cursing it, all the while never knowing it was actually a wonderfully delicious Brazilian treat! Who knew?

After getting our fill of the agriculture scene, we headed out the wineries. Wow! There are many. We did our best to map out a route that would be efficient and fun, picking out places we'd like to try or that sounded appealing to our palates, and we didn't even come close to seeing everything. It was a full day of tasting, with blissful consequences! I think it was unanimous that Grey Wolf Cellars was our favorite. The informative staff and delicious concoctions delighted all of us-- it was a fitting place to end the day.

Before heading home we trekked out to San Simeon and watched some waves crash. It was salty, sandy, and chilly and great to see that the ocean, in fact, is still there. I love just about everything about Sacramento, but the fact that I don't see the ocean regularly just bums me out! I'm always so grateful when I get to the beach because there is something refreshing about the sights and sounds of ocean waves. It was great to be reminded how beautiful it is. All in all a great time was had, and it was a wonderful way to unwind before this last weekend

Nov 17-19 Woo hoo! Another fun filled weekend to reminisce and be thankful. Lately I have found myself really feeling grateful for all the abundance in my life. I guess that's sort of cliche with Thanksgiving coming up and all, but I assure you the sentiment was genuine and had more to do with the actual events of the weekend, and not necessarily their chronology.

Friday was Garrett's and my anniversary (I'm sure their is a wretched grammatical error in there, but you know what, I am too lazy to figure it out!). I continue to feel overwhelmingly happy to have him in my life! He is just my absolute best friend, charming as hell, funny, adorable, and there is just no one I would rather be around. On top of it - he's supportive, smart, and silly, and he digs my family (crazy as they all are) so basically I just couldn't ask for anything more. Being the big goober when it comes to things like holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, etc - I did a lot of thinking on Friday about how much better my life has been over the past year having Garrett in it...and its just so apparent! The boy is a cornucopia of goodness---how's that for a cheesy Thanksgiving reference????

Piggy backing on this gratitude kick that I am on, I feel really thankful that I got to spend Sunday with a bunch of people that I care about, as well as watch the SF 49ers kick some serious tail against the Seattle Seahawks! Kelly and Gersson had purchased tickets for this game for the entire wedding party back in September, and we were all to reunite and share a day of fall, football, and fun - and that is basically just what happened. With our cooler full, our SF gear in tow, and of course a caravan of craziness, we all headed down at the CRACK OF DAWN to Monster Park (c'mon its soooo still Candlestick) to start the tailgating early. It was members of the wedding party, significant others, my cousins, my aunt and uncle, friends...I mean just about everyone was there! It was so much fun to tailgate, drink beer, eat hot links (its always about the food in my family, right?) and then take in a super fun football game where the 49ers kicked butt! It was great to see all my cousins -- not only just the Fremont crew, but Jim and Krystal heading down from Chico, Jeff from Santa Cruz, Sara from Monterey, and of course Gersson's extended clan all the way up from LA. I was just so happy to feel the love from everyone! We were all so happy to just be hanging out, kicking back, and enjoying each other's company - it just doesn't get any better! Moments like that are hard to come by with everyone's busy schedules, varied geography, and especially during the holiday season - so I was exceptionally grateful on the ride home just thinking about how lucky I am to have that kind of family in my life. What a blast!

Monday came with a MAJOR fun hangover - I think work was the last place any of us wanted to be no matter how much we like our jobs. I can't imagine next Monday will be any different with Thanksgiving coming up and all the excitement that entails. I'm really looking forward to family, stuffing, turkey, and football (in that order)! Hope the pictures weren't too obnoxious--I just had a ton of fun and wanted to share!

I Vote Treats, not Tricks

So Garrett was going to be working late on Halloween so for me it was going to be like any other night. Sure I would see cute little ones in costumes trick-or-treating on my drive home from work, but living in an apartment these days definitely eliminates the demand for Costco bags full of candy waiting eagerly to hear the doorbell. I was pleasantly surprised when Garrett's meeting was cancelled, and being that he actually lives in a home in the 'burbs, I got to experience some genuine trick-or-treaters. They were all so cute, though the volume of kids walking about was definitely different then when I was young.

Feeling festive and excited that I was going to get to celebrate a holiday (c'mon you know I'm a super geek for that kind of stuff) I came up with an appropriate dinner menu that fit the occasion perfectly. Everything turned out great, and noshing on candy while we waited was great, but I have to say the star of the evening was the following recipe for pumkin soup! You might be thinking that it sounds gross, but I am not kidding it was a most delicious and spicy delight that I can't believe I have never served before (but most certainly will serve again):

2 TBS Extra Virgin Olive Oil
1 Medium Onion, finely chopped
3 Cups Vegetable Stock
1 (14.5 oz) can diced tomatoes in juice
1 (15 oz) can black beans drained
2 (15 oz) can pumpkin puree
1 Cup heavy cream
1 TBS red curry powder
1 1/2 tsp ground cumin
1/2 tsp cayenne pepper
Coarse Salt
20 blades fresh chives chopped for garnish

Heat a soup pot over medium heat. Add oil. When oil is hot, add onion. Saute onions 5 minutes. Add broth, tomatoes, black beans and pumpkin puree. Stir to combine ingredients and bring soup to a boil. Reduce head to medium low and stir in cream, curry, cumin, cayenne and salt, to taste. Simmer 5 minutes, adjust seasonings and serve garnished with chopped chives.

OMG! Where are the leftovers???

Regarding # 2 below...I AM NOT ALONE

My tech saavy impresses you, huh?

Bones to Pick

Two random points of contention:

1. What is happening to Tower Cafe? The quality of food and the service at that restaurant is declining like a cancer patient with a metastasized liver. Whoa!...its finally happened...too many Grey's Anatomy episodes have me making cruel and insensitive medical jokes. I knew that show was bad news! Anyway, last Sunday Garrett and I hit it up for breakfast, and once again the food was subpar. Anyone who knows me, knows that it is a rule that everyone orders their own breakfast entree and then the appropriate amount of their delicious French Toast is ordered as well--whether you want it or not. Frankly if you don't want it, you're probably not even a friend of mine, but that is beside the point. The point is, lately the entrees really havent been tasting that great. The french toast is the only thing that keeps me coming back. Brown eggs, and not so brown potatoes are not the signature cuisine I have come to expect on my weekend mornings. Its kind of a tragedy. And to make it even worse the service has been horrific! Garrett and I waited for almost 40 minutes after we finished our meals to get our check last Sunday (luckily we brought the paper with us, so it wasn't a total loss) and when we finally tracked down our waiter, he forgot that he had already served us our food and gave us the broken record "Your food is just about ready." It was SO bizarre...though sadly, not that uncommon as of late. (The biggest tragedy of this little rant is that we didn't even order French Toast this time so it was bad service, brown eggs, and not-brown potatoes...not so good...not so good!) I know Tower Records is on its way out of town, but Tower Cafe is a little ray of sunshine on the weekends, and my last few experiences there left much to be desired...WTF???

2. Since when did wearing acid washed tapered jeans with an acid washed denim shirt come back in fshion? I've seen two people wearing that senseless ensemble today, and I am incredibly curious. Did I not get the memo???

Updates and Anticipations

I can't believe it's Friday already!

Last weekend was so much fun, then having a mid week goof off day with Halloween, it just doesn't seem right that I am already cruising through the gateway to the weekend.

So Sarah and Kenny continue to cook the best lasagna on the planet, as demonstrated by last weekend's Friday night festivities. They have such a cozy new house, and the fact that they moved in during the fall, and they have a beautiful tree getting ready to change colors right out front just rocks! Sitting on their back patio and watching that tree change is going to be one of my favorite things over the next couple of weeks, I can just feel it!

Saturday night was David Sedaris and he was so GREAT! I mean I was expecting him to be great, of course, but he was just so unassuming, frank, and FUNNY! He read a few selections to be published in upcoming issues of The New Yorker, and a few other really hysterical pieces. It felt like home there at the Crest - my people! I felt like a nerd among nerds :) It was great to share that with Garrett too, because I know it wasn't something he usually does, much more up my alley, and to see him be open to that as well as truly enjoy himself was really special!

Sunday was a catchup day, as they usually are. I'm hoping we get up to Apple Hill one of these Sundays soon-- before all the Holiday craziness begins (though looking at my calendar I am pretty sure it has already begun). Speaking of the Holidays, I picked up a lb. of Peet's Holiday Blend this year and it is as delicious as ever. Full bodied with a little fruity tang! I had my first home brewed cup this morning and it was spectacular...plus I love seeing the little red bag on my counter top. It was so delicious it made me want to bust out my French Press since there is no better way to enjoy a quality cup of coffee. That is definitely what I miss about Peet's, the ease with which you could craft a perfect cup on a moment's notice. I don't miss the hectic nature of the holidays in there though. The volume of people, the fogged up windows, the constant restocking, steaming eggnog (ugh! that's the worst!). This year I will definitely relish my ability to go inside, enjoy a beverage (and I will never EVER order an eggnog latte EVER), pick up some beans and some Peppermint bark (mmmmm), and then GET THE HECK OUT!!!

Holiday parties are starting to line up as well, which just makes me giddy. Garrett's work party/dinner is at Moxie, which I am excited about. His company is small and his co-workers are genuinely kind, so it makes being the Significant Other not so stressful. Although the last work event of his that I attended, I ended up being told by his boss how cute his butt was, and how I was spiritually obligated to "consummate our relationship on the Sabbath"...and that was a little weird. I guess that's what happens when you work for a small company - more liberal sexual harassment policies and such :).

My work holiday party is at the Hyatt, and it is being billed as a "Night of Dinner and Dancing." Let's hope that doesn't mean bad music and raw Prime Rib (redundant, I know...ick!). I don't know how Allied parties, so we will have to see this year! The night after Allied's party is Jeremy & Hilary's annual extravaganza, which is always a great time. I'm thinking about White Elephant gifts already -- So fun! I think Garrett and I will have to head down the The Shabby Shack again this year as it was RIPE with gift-worthy items last year.

This weekend looks to be relatively relaxing. I'm hoping to get down to the downtown ice skating rink...I'm such a nerd for anything festive! Plus I have a damn cute collection of scarves and what better place to don one! Hopefully tonight if Garrett's travel day doesn't suck too much out of him. Tomorrow is the Junior League Bus Tour and we are heading to three notable places that I am totally interested in seeing. It includes trips to the Children's Receiving Home, Crisis Nursery, and St. John's Shelter. I'm really excited. I continue to feel good about my decision to join Junior League of Sacramento. It's been nothing like the horror stories I have heard about debutantes and unhappy housewives. I've met some really nice people, and I'm looking forward to all the opportunities I will have to impact my community. The experience is what you make it, and I'm glad I didn't think too much about joining alone, or have second thoughts because it scary getting involved in something where you don't know anyone. I think it was ultimately a decision that will enrich my life for a long time, and how can that NOT be exciting.

Anyway, I guess that's it! That's all the news that is news.

Current Obsession

Take that those who say I'm not tech-saavy! Ok I'm not, but I did figure out how to put pictures on here all by myself. Yes, that's right, I figured out how to post a picture of a dutch oven on my blog site because I'm currently obsessed with it. Don't you say my life isn't crazy!

Yes, I Have Been Eating Retard Sandwiches Again

I have succumbed to a fate more horrible than death, and I assure you my tendency towards overstatement is not in effect here.

I have fallen in love, against my better judgment, with the TV show Grey’s Anatomy. I have exhausted all possible solutions for falling out of love, and I have thus come to the realization that nothing can be done. The show is overly hyped, overly stylized (c’mon you haven’t noticed that every set of scrubs Izzy wears perfectly compliments her “resident hot intern” figure?), and it is so musically manipulated that I often wait with anticipatory glee for the background music so I can listen to the words to tell how I am supposed to feel. But no matter how hard I try, I still love it! And at this point, I’m actually ok with that part. I’m not scared of a little guilty pleasure -- I revel in it actually. The horror, and yes – there’s horror, stems from the fact that this show is so bandwagon! So bandwagon, I assert, that it is almost competing with the caliber of fans that show up to the Staples Center when the Lakers are in the playoffs (Ah, how the beginning of basketball season has got me chomping at the bit to disparage the Lakers at any and all opportunities). Apologies for the digression.

So anyway, it’s bandwagon – and I HATE bandwagon! I don’t hate it in “boys who wear black eyeliner and listen to underground bands” kind of way, but in more of an anti “hey, let’s all meet up at the Sorority house on Thursday nights and borrow each other’s Bebe outfits” kind of way **insert retching noise here**. But at the same time, the show is really, really addictive! You see the only reason I even rented Season 1 (and only the first 5 episodes, mind you) was because I was sure I would watch one or two episodes and think to myself “McDreamy? uh…more like Mc-LAME-y! What waste of celluloid, and precious time that I could better spend killing brain cells watching Laguna Beach marathons”. But after two lousy episodes I began to wonder where Patrick Dempsey had been for the last 10 years, and mentally planning my trip to crispy, cool Seattle for a mini-vacay. Somebody get out my sorority roster, I’m about to invite the gals over!

I’m only one third of the way through Season 2, and already I’m glued to my dvd player at basically every free moment. I’m totally ashamed. I guess I should have asked for Bebe gift certificates for my birthday.

Did He Dazzle You With His Extensive Knowledge of Mineral Water?

So Garrett has this wonderful quality that I just can't get enough of. He just doesn't slack. Ok, so that's probably not totally true, but I'm convinced that his tendency to slack is just astronomically smaller than anyone else I've ever met. What makes it stand out to me is the ease with which he tackles things that have me, personally, breaking into a cold sweat. I swear its like he reads my diary. It's like I've made a list of all the things that I find difficult to do, put off until tomorrow, or hoped would do themselves, and he's read it, done it, and it's old news. And I'm so flippin jealous!!! So I was thinking tonight, what if I just took those things and just didn't slack. I mean really--how hard can that be? Read my own diary and just do it. You know, like instead of beating myself up sometimes because I don't floss twice a day like I should-- Well, what if I just start? I mean couldn't it be that easy? I know that sometimes life gets overwhelming, or the red wine flows like water, and well, flossing just doesn't seem to rank. But what if, instead of putting things off and feeling guilty about them--I just did them. Hmm..simple, bizarre, true.

I used to get up 5 days a week at like 3:45am. Now, who in their right mind does that? It's NUTS. But after awhile its just the norm. It's no big deal, its not painful. You can do it drunk, you can do it sober. You just do it. Now that I'm out of the habit it seems horrific, but I'm absolutely certan I could do it for a week or two and be absolutely back into the groove. So why can't I do that with say--keeping my closet organized, or grocery shopping on a regular basis, or packing a lunch for work everyday. These things aren't half as horrific as depriving myself of sleep, but they are so hard for me to make myself do.

Choosing to make yourself do something seems to be the key though, right? It reminds me of when I was living in LA and my old roommate would be working at 5am, going to school, doing his homework, working a 2nd job, getting decent grades and still finding time to spend time with his family in the valley, see his friends on the weekends, write a one man show, and hello---still be fun! One day I stopped him and said "Fredo, how do you do all that and not just collapse?" and he looked at me and said "Oh I just keep going." And I thought to myself--yes, yes he does. It was like profundity personified.

So every once in a while when I have alot going on and I am feeling overwhelmed, I often think of that conversation and realize that the decision is mine I will either choose to crap out, or choose to keep going. I know, this is not rocket science here, but it's major to me. So what if I did that kind of simplifying with all the little loose ends that I'm trying to deal with in my life. God knows I've got the list of 'em going. Instead of worrying, and whining, and being anxious at night--what if just didn't slack anymore? Ever.

It's gotta be possible right? I think I'm gonna try it.

Blogging From The Edge of Heaven

So I think I have finally recovered, and I will be sending one embossed glossy thank you card to a Mr. George Michael!

The fact that I chose to spend two of my back-to-back September weekends participating in the nuptials of two couples for which I have dear affection had an effect on me that I really hadn't anticipated. Ok let's just cut the shit, it was ROUGH! I know that sounds terrible, especially since both weddings were actually incredibly well executed, classy, romantic affairs where I definitely enjoyed myself, but the following week after the final wedding I just wasn’t my normal active self. I'm sure Garrett would disagree, since on the outside I was my normal list making, cruise directing, calendar obsessed self--trying to coordinate 500 things into every free minute of the next few months--but honestly, I just wasn't feeling like me. It was clear that I needed something to bring me back to the animated, excitable, easy-going-with-a-side-of-crazy gal that I normal enjoy being.

Discovering the genesis for my energy drain certainly wasn’t finding the cure for cancer. The middle of September had me pinned under a heavy workload Monday through Friday, and the stress involved in being a bridesmaid should seriously be right up there with death, divorce, and taxes. Throw in some inconvenient car trouble, and the incredibly painful onset of a clearly ill-timed kidney infection were all factors that lead to this wedding hangover, for sure! (Note to Kidney: If you ever do that to me again, there will be SERIOUS consequences. I'm talking hotel bathtubs, ice cubes, and ebay. Do you hear me?) A normal person might think a few extra Zs, an expertly prescribed cocktail of antibiotics, cranberry juice, and maybe just a day off work might do the trick. But the thing is, you'd be wrong. Actually the cure-all for life's woes comes courtesy of a little band called Wham!


Beginning much like any other weekend, Saturday morning found Garrett and I walking down to Peet’s for our much needed beverages of choice and to the J Street Noah’s bagels to stuff our hungover faces. After a hearty helping of carbohydrates and people watching, we headed over to The Beat to browse and finish our coffee, and it was here that I was reunited with a dear, dear friend.

With the intention of finding The Faint's remix album, maybe some Imogen Heap, and anything else that tickled our fancies, I came across the Wham! Album “Songs From The Edge Of Heaven.” To make it even sweeter -- it was in the $7.99 bargain bin. Needless to say my excitement level went through the roof. The album came out in 1986, and it was on heavy rotation in my bedroom’s hot pink boom box. Just looking at the cover filled my head with that overly produced homo-erotic synth-pop that had characterized a huge part of my life long before I was even old enough to contemplate the implication of George Michael's hot pink shorts. Saddened by the fact that Garrett couldn’t accompany me when I began to recite ‘Wham! Rap 86’, and wanting so desperately to relive my experience with ‘Last Christmas”-- you know, before it became a ubiquitous retail anthem heard annually while sifting through displays of Gap scarves, or gift packs at Victoria’s secret during the Holidays —- I immediately knew I had to have it. With an unsure but curious look on his face, my delicious boyfriend (continuing to spoil me as he did for some reason all weekend) purchased this album that had me off in my own giddy-land, and it was to the car we rolled…

…And listened. And once again, the curious look appeared on Garrett’s face as I played for him these anthems of my youth. Though he knew about Wham!, because he is 3 years younger he didn't have that same instant nostalgia. It was hysterical to hear these kitschy homosexual manifestos and think about how they must have originally sounded. It was like I had always, yet never, remembered it. How did I not know? I enjoyed every cheesy minute though, and when I got to Wham! Rap ’86, and belted out every ridiculous word —I had the realization that I had enjoyed this album 20 years ago! 20 YEARS AGO! It was mind boggling to be totally honest.

With my 28th birthday coming up this weekend it’s surely not that big of a deal to have enjoyed something 20 years ago, but it gave me pause for a second. I reflected, as I often do before my birthday-- and yes, with Wham! playing in the background, thank you very much— and I realized with the cutest boy in the world sitting next to me, that I am blissfully happy. I’m as blissfully happy as I was singing Wham! songs into the mirror on the back of my bedroom door when I was 8. I’m sure I don’t acknowledge it to him as often as I should, but I am so lucky that I have a boyfriend who loves me in all of my ridiculous juvenile glory. Who will buy me cheesy cds and fabulous bottles of wine all in a 24 hour time period. Who will sleep next to me when I am ridiculously drunk and emotional, and still tell me I look beautiful in my greasy ponytail the next day over bagels. It was that kind of love that I hoped for when I was just a wee Wham! fan fantasizing about my future with super hottie, George Michael — you know but with less hot pink shorts and indecent bathroom behavior.